Articles by Gary Roe

3 Steps to Guarding Your Grieving Heart this Season

Sal and Mildred called themselves December people. They were both born in December and were married on Christmas Eve. “We partied all month long!” Mildred said. When Mildred passed in early December, Sal wasn’t surprised. “She waited until our party month. Now she’s...

3 Big Reasons Why Holidays Hurt

Holidays can hurt, especially when we’re missing someone. How do we celebrate when our hearts are broken? Where’s the Grinch when you need him? Hurting for the holidays Is it okay to hurt during the holidays? Absolutely. Here are three big reasons why holidays...

7 Tips for Overcoming the Loneliness of Grief

We’re made for relationship. No wonder loss hurts. It crushes our hearts. As a hospice chaplain, I believe one of our greatest fears is feeling alone, left behind, or abandoned. I’ve felt it myself, and I’ve heard it from the hearts of hundreds of others. Steven’s...

5 Things to Remember When People Disappoint You

When loss hits, our world changes. This includes our relationships. People around us tend to over-promise but under-deliver in terms of supporting us in meaningful ways. This leads to more loss. From the Grieving Heart: This would be easier if it weren't for...

7 Truths Grieving Hearts Can Cling To

Life has changed. Loss has invaded. Grief surfaces everywhere. And yet, everyone around us just wants us to get better - fast. From the Grieving Heart: I feel like a robot. I'm going through the motions. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything. Why can't...

3 Reasons Anxiety is Natural for Grieving Hearts

Worry. Anxiety. Fear. Panic. Most of us are familiar with these things. “I’m having trouble sleeping. My mind won’t settle. I’m nervous and fidgety. I can’t concentrate,” Mary said, gently rocking back and forth. “In fact, I seem to be anxious about everything,” she...

5 Unsettling Ways Loss Affects Us Mentally

"I can't seem to focus. My concentration is gone," Wayne shared. "I space out at work. I zone out in conversations. I watch movies and discover I have no idea what the plot line is." Wayne's daughter Tory was his little princess. She was a daddy's girl, and the two of...

7 Characteristics of Safe, Supportive People

Grieving hearts often feel misunderstood, or worse. To say this can be frustrating is a gross understatement. Several years ago, people came to me and said, "Could you please write a book that we can give to other people to help them understand what we're going...

5 Ways Grief Will Surprise You

"I wander. I drift. I have no purpose. Everything feels meaningless," Mark said. "Me too. I'm just here. That's all," Melanie added. Mark and Melanie's daughter Faith was their third child. After two normal, healthy pregnancies and deliveries, Faith's entry into the...

3 Keys to Overcoming Guilt in Grief and in Life

The following is adapted from the 2018 Book Excellence Award Winner, Teen Grief: Caring for the Grieving Teenage Heart. Grief often comes laden with guilt. You'll be able to relate, even if you don’t have teens. In times of loss, teens can see themselves as...