Who likes anxiety?

I sure don’t. It’s been a nemesis of mine for a long time. My past and my losses have stirred my anxiety pot many times. There were times when anxiety became a major force in my life.

I’m reminded of these words from C. H. Spurgeon: “Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths.”

In other words, anxiety is a strength-sucker.

As grieving people, we can’t afford any more strength-suckers.

And yet, anxiety keeps popping up.

For some, anxiety is constant. It comes in waves of varying intensity, but it is always there.

For others, anxiety is the monster under the bed. We know it’s there, but for the most part it only bothers us at certain times and in certain situations.

For still others, anxiety is like a dark cloud above our heads. We walk on eggshells, not knowing where or when another anxiety lightning bolt will strike.

For some of us, it feels like all of the above and more.

Ugh.

Anxiety is natural, especially for grieving hearts. Loss creates a sense of uncertainty. The old normal is gone. We don’t know what the future will bring. What little sense of control we had is shattered.

No wonder we’re anxious.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ve probably heard my simple technique for diffusing intense feelings. I call it A.I.R. Your Emotions. The subject of anxiety gives us another chance to practice this.

This is how it works. When anxiety strikes…

A. – Acknowledge the emotion.  “I’m feeling anxious.”

This is huge. Bigger than we think. Simply acknowledging (out loud) the anxiety can begin to unplug its power.

I. – Identify the thoughts behind the emotion. “I’m feeling anxious because I was just thinking about…”

Emotions don’t surge out of nowhere. There are thoughts behind them. Once you acknowledge the anxiety, you can identify the thoughts that led there.

R. – Release the emotion. This is often a process.

What we’re really doing is talking out loud about what’s happening inside us. We’re processing the anxiety. We’re expressing our grief.

We can release the anxiety by praying, by continuing to talk out loud, or by writing. Rather than fighting the anxiety or running from it, we’re simply accepting it as best we can. When accept the anxiety, it begins to lose its intensity.

If this is new to you, I know it can sound a bit awkward or cumbersome. Once you try it a few times, it becomes pretty simple. Try it now. Think of a time when you were anxious. Run that scenario through your mind. A.I.R. the anxiety you felt.

“I’m anxious. I’m anxious because I was just thinking about… Rather than fight this anxiety or run from it, I choose to accept and release it.”

They say that practice makes permanent. I’ve certainly found this to be true. For this demanding journey, we need some good grief skills – new habits we can count on when things get intense.

At the end of Psalm 139, King David wrote: Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.

God, of course, already knew David’s anxious thoughts. David was owning up to his anxiety. He came to God with an open-heart and open-hands. Rather than trying to exercise control, David chose to release.

Anxiety is a strength-sucker, and we need all the strength we can get. When it strikes, acknowledge it, process it a bit, and then let it pass on through. Release.

And then keep releasing.

God knows me. He knows you. He knows our hearts. He knows our anxious thoughts.

Thank goodness.

Question: What are you anxious about today? Take a moment and A.I.R. your anxiety. Feel free to share using the comment section below.