Loss tends to create questions. Lots and lots of questions.
How did this happen? Why? What do I do now? How do I handle this? What’s next?
Most grieving hearts are dealing with multiple questions almost all the time. And our questions are hardly ever once-and-done. They tend to circle back – again, and again, and again.
A couple of years ago, I sat down and generated a list of the most common questions I’ve been asked about grief and healing. Ultimately, that list resulted in a book called The Grief Guidebook: Common Questions, Compassionate Answers, Practical Suggestions.
Soon after The Grief Guidebook was released, my friends Kathy and Stephanie had me on their podcast, As I Live and Grieve, to talk about the book – why I wrote it and how grieving hearts can use it to navigate loss and begin to heal and grow.
You can listen to the podcast here.
Take a listen. I think you’ll be encouraged.
What questions have you struggled with since your loss?
Consider making a list of these questions. Sometimes, just getting them down on paper (or on a screen) can be relieving and helpful.
What questions do you sense you need answers to?
Make note of those questions.
Is there anyone you know who can help you find the answers you need?
What is the most burning question on your mind today?
Being aware of our questions is important. Our hearts are speaking and trying to make sense of all this. Even if there is no emotionally satisfying answer, our hearts must still ask the question.
I think of the writers of the Psalms and many of the prophets in the Old Testament. They encountered loss and great suffering. They had questions. They asked them. They cried out to God. They poured out their hearts to Him.
Struggling through our questions is one way we can be honest with ourselves, others, and God. Heart honesty is massively important in the grief process.
Be kind to yourself today.
Question: What questions is your heart asking? Feel free to comment and share below.
Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. (Psalm 42:5)
Your writing is so down to earth. Love your books, just received the devotional book. Hits it right on every time I open it up. You can feel God hugs throughout the books. This is the second time in 17 years that I’ve lost a spouse. Still different grieving and the questions in my mind and pain in my heart return again. Is there an online support group through this site?
Hi Trudy. Thank you for commenting and for your encouragement. Goodness. You have really been through it – and are still going through it. Please be patient with yourself, Trudy. we don’t have an online support group per se, but we do have monthly Zoom meetings. We have a topic I address and an extended time of Q & A. If you’re getting regular emails from me, then you’re already getting those Zoom invites. If not, just sign-up for any of my free resources under the “Resources” tab on this site. Blessings to you Trudy.
how do you ever move on?
Hi Kate. Thanks for asking. In some sense, we never move on – we continue to grieve, but in different ways over time. Rather than “moving on”, I’ve found it helpful to think about “moving through the grief.” As I focus on moving through the grief, the grief changes over time and I heal – again, over time. This is all one step at a time, one day at a time. I can feel like such a slow process. Please be kind to yourself in all this. And please feel free to reach out here anytime. Blessings to you, Kate…
Put our hope, faith in God, king of creation. My hope, clings to our saviors words…..our tears shall be no more, all of those things, shall pass away……praise you Father, you are our strength, our refuge, our reward, our victory. All we need, is you, ……amen.
Hi Dianne. Well said. Thank you. Amen!