A few days ago, we had another Zoom Virtual Hangout. We talked about “What to Expect in 2023.” Many of you were there or received the recording.
The response to this session was so good, I decided to write a brief summary of what we talked about.
What can we expect in 2023?
1. Life will be full of challenges and obstacles.
No surprise here, right?
When we’re grieving, challenges and obstacles are often seen as threats. Sometimes we resist and fight against these challenges. Other times, we run from them. Occasionally, we simply freeze up.
Though difficult, it’s important to accept what is. We need to cultivate an “I eat problems for breakfast” attitude. Instead of seeing obstacles as being in our way, we can view obstacles as the way forward into healing and growth. Rather than running or hiding from challenges, we can lean into them (John 16:33).
2. Relationships will be challenging and difficult.
People are, well, people.
Some people will be kind, compassionate, and supportive. Some will be unsupportive, critical, or even mean. This is true of family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors.
As grieving hearts, we need to focus on relationships with healthy, supportive, safe people. We need to guard and protect our hearts in difficult, unsupportive relationships. People will make a huge difference in our grief journey, one way or the other.
3. Offenses will come.
Offenses will abound in 2023. We will be offended. We will offend others.
Overlooking an offense while grieving is difficult. If we can, however, simply letting the offense go is often the healthiest route forward (Proverbs 19:11). Learning to forgive quickly is massively important (Ephesians 4:32).
4. The world will continue to change (even more rapidly).
We might want the world to slow down and behave itself, but the reality is that more change is going to come at us this year – perhaps more than we have ever experienced before.
We can’t let this broken, insensitive world set our agendas and drive our lives. Instead, we can choose to swim upstream (Romans 12:1-2). We can cultivate simplicity and peace. We must guard our hearts and nurture our souls (Proverbs 4:23).
5. Some people will choose to stay where they are and let the world, loss, and pain define them.
Some people will choose to stay stuck in 2023. Some people choose not to heal. This is a sad reality.
Granted, all of us get stuck from time to time. We can “feel” stuck a lot. All of us are profoundly influenced and shaped by what happens to us and around us. All of us can say, “I have experienced painful losses, and these losses have changed me.” This is different, however, from believing, “These losses and wounds are who I am.”
We are more than our wounds. We are more than our losses. Thank goodness.
6. Some people will make life all about them.
Some people will become very self-focused in 2023. All of us have a tendency to make life about us. Some may even choose isolation and loneliness.
Heavy loss causes many of us to go internal and withdraw somewhat. Many of us need to do this for periods of time. Sooner or later, however, healing and growth beckon us to come out of ourselves and engage with the people around us.
Loss and pain can stir up a new or deeper sense of entitlement within us. Pain and frustration can lead us to expect the world and others to support us, meet our needs, or even save us. This leads to deep disappointment, anger, and even bitterness.
When we make things all about us, our lives shrink.
7. Some people will choose healing and growth.
Some people will choose lean into their grief in 2023.
They will choose to grieve in healthy ways. They will humble themselves and seek support and help. Amid their pain, they will cultivate gratitude and thanksgiving (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).
8. Some people will choose to overcome through love and service.
Some people will choose to get out of themselves and make a difference in 2023.
They will find ways to use their grief for good. They will turn their pain into purpose (Philippians 4:13). They will embrace the benefits of loss and grief.
They will learn what’s really important in life. They will evaluate their lives and clarify their priorities. They will pursue being people of love, joy, hope, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness (Galatians 5:22-23).
This is some of what we can expect in 2023.
I hope the above comforts, challenges, and inspires you. I know it does me. The world, life, and grief are so relentless that I can easily get squeezed into making things about me, my situation, my pain, my challenges, etc. Ugh.
Wherever you are today, I invite to join me in leaning into 2023. I have to daily remind myself, “I can’t, but God can.” I am so limited and flawed that if I gaze at myself very long, I’m in trouble.
Jesus said, “I am the vine, you are the branches. If anyone abides (lives, resides) in Me, and I in them, they will bear much fruit. Apart from Me, you can do nothing” (John 15:5).
I am connected to Him. He is life. He is my life. I want to heal, grow, and bear fruit. He does this, not me. I yield. I choose to trust Him. Apart from Him I’m hopeless and wandering. I end up making it all about me.
I know you’re hurting. I am too. We all are, on some level.
Lean forward, my friend. Lean into the grief, into healing, into growth. Lean into Jesus. If you don’t know Jesus, please consider seeking Him (if you would like to know more about this, please let me know).
2023 is upon us. Breathe deeply. Choose healing. Keep choosing healing.
Question: As you look ahead into 2023, what do you see? Are there challenges you are concerned about or fearful of? Feel free to comment.
My 22 yo son died suddenly 6 years ago. My grief is still so raw. Is it possible to ever forgive myself? Will I ever find peace?
Hi Paige. I’m so, so sorry about your son. What a massive loss. There is no timetable on losses like this. It can feel like yesterday, over and over again. Paige, do you have anyone where you are that you can share freely with – a safe person? So much of this is “getting the grief out” – talking, releasing what’s inside. Yes, it is possible to forgive yourself. Yes, it is possible to find peace. We all need help to do that. Please be kind to yourself. And please feel free to reach out anytime. Praying for you now…
Thank you for this beautiful and inspiring piece. What a comfort to read from another, that which resonates with my heart. Yes, we are hurting in some way, but we all have the same Lord that loves us and will see us through the tough times, and give us the grace to love and help one another. Bring on 2023!
Thank you, Catherine! Here we go….
Hello Gary,
I just wanted to thank you so much for writing the book, Comfort for adult child’s heart. It has been a great source of comfort to me after the loss of my mom. You describe what I’ve felt and gave me validation that what I was going through was indeed devastating.