Today I’m writing to give us all a gentle warning.

We’re vulnerable. We’re hurting. Perhaps we’re even crushed, shattered.

We’re not thinking straight. How could we? Grief is squeezing us.

All this leaves us open to being taken advantage of. Sadly, grieving hearts are often abused by others.

Not everyone is for us. Our world is jam packed with deceivers, scammers, and charlatans.

These evil perpetrators have well-developed radar for those who are vulnerable.  They can spot us without hardly any effort. They have trained themselves in the art of abuse.

Perhaps you have had run-ins with such deceiving liars.

Yes, I’m being blunt. I can’t cut these opportunistic abusers of vulnerable hearts any slack.

They’re out there. And we need to be on guard against them.

The good news is we don’t have to fear them. No need to be paranoid. But we do need to be aware.

How do we recognize these fakers?

Well, sometimes it’s obvious. All our alarm bells go off.

Other times, we get this subtle feeling that something is not right. That’s a feeling to pay attention to.

Some of these abusers are very skilled. They develop a connection with you, and all seems good for a while.

Here’s a good rule of thumb: When someone you don’t know (or barely know) wants something (anything) from you when you’re vulnerable and grieving, watch out.

Another good rule of thumb: Don’t make any big decisions for at least a year after your loss.

These big decisions can include money, getting into a new relationship, or anything that has life-altering potential.

This brings up the obvious question, “How do I make good decisions while I’m grieving?” That’s a huge subject. Here are three quick tips:

1. Don’t make any major, life-changing decisions immediately after a loss.
2. If you must make a large decision, make sure you don’t make it alone. Consult some people you trust who have your best interests in mind.
3. Check with someone you trust before making any decision that you’re unsure about.

And one more thing.

Just because it feels good doesn’t mean it’s a good choice.

When we’re grieving, life is not business as usual. We’re vulnerable. We need to be aware and guard our hearts.

Find safe people. Get around them. Develop those relationships. As we support each other, we can protect each other.

Thanks for reading. And thank you for your support as I seek to help grieving hearts heal, recover, and grow.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the spring from which everything else in your life flows.” (Solomon, Proverbs 4:23)

Question: Has someone tried to take advantage of you while you’re grieving? What advice would you have for others?