Having COVID taught me a lot. Living in the COVID era has taught me even more.

Specifically, COVID reminded me of some key truths about grief. When we lose sight of these simple truths, things go badly.

COVID…

This virus effects everyone differently. Some are asymptomatic. Some have light cases. Others are affected more heavily. Still others are hit severely.

People experience different symptoms at different times. We’ve developed a long list of possible symptoms and their severity. These seem to be able to occur in almost any order and combination.

Treatment is based on each person and each case. There are several recommended treatment regimens for COVID, depending on how a person is affected and the severity of each individual case. The individual’s pre-existing conditions and current overall health play a large role in this.

There are patterns to how this virus works. Discovering these patterns has enabled us to come up with patterns of prevention and treatment that work for many people.

Loss…

Loss affects everyone differently, even if our losses are similar. Some of us are hit hard. Our whole world is upended. Some of us are debilitated for a time. Some are able to continue to function fairly well. Still others appear less affected overall.

People experience different things in grief at different times.The more we travel the grief road, the more we realize that grief is an individual process. We all experience different things at different times. Because no two people and no two losses are the same, no two grief journeys are the same.

What helps in grief is different for each person. Though each of us is unique and all our losses are different, there are some grief “patterns” that emerge that are common to all of us. No matter where we are in our grief journey, there are certain keys to healthy grieving that apply to all of us. We just have to discover what seems best for us at any given time.

There are patterns to the grief process that are common to almost everyone. Along the way, we discover that many people experience the same kinds of emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, and relational upheavals and struggles. Though our losses are all different, it’s reassuring to know that we can apply some of the same grief recovery principles and walk together through this.

You are unique. Your grief process won’t look exactly like anyone else’s. This is what makes this journey so lonely.

The one you lost was unique. Your relationship with them was one-of-a-kind. This is what makes your grief so special. Your grief says, “I love you.”

What helps you might not help someone else, and vice versa. So much of grief is about timing. Different things help at different times. Grief is a moving target.

Your grief has patterns to it that almost every other grieving heart will experience on some level (especially those dealing with a similar loss). You are not alone. Far from it.

Can you see these grief truths operating in your life? Which one resonates the most with you right now?

Please be kind to yourself today. Pay attention to your heart. You’re more important than you know.

Warmly,
Gary

P.S. Soon after COVID hit, I wrote an article called 5 Tips: Grief, Fear, and Coronavirus. Though some of the info is now dated, the 5 tips remain solid. Check it out.