When a loved one departs, we miss their hearing their voice. As we go through our days, there may be times when we can swear we hear them calling us. Our hearts can still hear and see them. This post, taken from Comfort for the Grieving Parent’s Heart, delves into this longing. No matter what your loss, I’ll bet you can relate to the Grieving Heart below…

FROM THE GRIEVING HEART:

I woke up in the middle of the night. I could hear you calling me.

Maybe I was dreaming, but it seemed so real. I’ve heard that call many times. I jumped up and started to head for your room. Then I realized I wasn’t in the same house anymore – that you weren’t here anymore. I slumped back onto the bed and buried my head in my hands.

Losing you is torture. My mind can’t seem to let go. My heart won’t and probably never will. We’re connected, so how does this separation thing work?

How many times did you call me, and I didn’t hear you? How many times did you need me, and I wasn’t there?

I wish I could hear your voice. It was good to hear you in my dream, or whatever it was. And you were calling me. That’s special. You’re special.

If I close my eyes, I can almost hear you calling me now. It’s like you live somewhere inside me. I hear you in my heart.

My heart is broken over losing you, my child. There was no one like you. One of a kind. Unique. Priceless. You were mine, and I was yours.

How did this happen? What do I do with this?

Their Voice is One of a Kind

Our loved one’s voice is special. We’ve heard it so many times that it has taken up residence in our hearts. It echoes inside us. We think we hear them calling. 

Our job as parents is to love and meet our child’s needs. When a child dies, our hearts naturally wonder what we could have done to prevent this. Was there a need we didn’t meet? Did they call and we didn’t hear them? What did we miss? 

The incessant internal questioning can be torturous. Our minds spin. Our broken hearts desperately cling to our child in any way we can. 

There is such deep connection in the parent-child bond. There is no other relationship like it. Our child is a part of us. Now they’re gone. What does that mean? How can we survive this?

We need to talk. We need to say their name and share our memories. We need to air our questions, frustrations, and confusion. We need to get what’s happening inside us out somehow. 

We need people who are trustworthy and accepting to listen and be with us in this. We don’t need fixes. There are none. We don’t need advice we haven’t asked for. We need open hearts and listening ears to exist with us in this turmoil, if only for a little while. 

When we’re hurt, we tend to isolate. Our hearts warn us that this is not the thing to do. We’re relational creatures. Our response to this loss proves that. We need solid, loving relationships right now. Where do we find them?

Perhaps we already have them? Maybe these people have yet to show up in our lives. We look around us. We trust that the safe souls we need are out there. On the one hand, we trust they will appear at the right time. On the other hand, we search for them.

Our hearts matter. We can’t afford to go this alone.   

Affirmation: Even though I’m hurting, I can’t afford to isolate. I trust that the people I need to walk with me in this are out there. I will find ways to express this grief, as best I can.

Taken from Comfort for the Grieving Parent’s Heart: Hope and Healing After Losing Your Child. You can watch the brief book video here.

Additional Recommended Resources:

5 Unsettling Ways Grief Affects Us Mentally – www.garyroe.com

Grief Soundbites: Emotional Pain – Gary Roe YouTube

When You Miss Their Voice – www.garyroe.com