Loss hits us on every level. The grief journey is exhausting. Spiritual fatigue and numbness can set in. The following article is adapted from Shattered: Surviving the Loss of a Child. No matter what your loss, chances are you can relate to much of the following…

“Everything good seems far away. I’m emotionally and spiritually paralyzed. I feel dead inside,” Jack shared.

Jack’s daughter Chloe was a daddy’s girl. She clung to Jack wherever he went. He adored her.

Chloe grew up in a stable and loving home. She confronted the usual, daunting challenges teens face and emerged from them fairly unscathed. She married her high school sweetheart. They had three kids, two boys and a girl.

One day Chloe was returning from grocery shopping. A thunderstorm had been raging for hours. Chloe’s car hydroplaned, and she lost control. She was killed in a multi-car pile-up. She was 34.

“Dads protect their daughters, but I couldn’t protect her,” Jack said, gazing into my eyes.

DEEP LOSS CAN PRODUCE SPIRITUAL NUMBNESS

After a terrible, deep loss like this, many report a sort of spiritual numbness or fatigue. Trying to make sense of what appears to be senseless can be spiritually exhausting.

All of us have a faith of some kind, even if it’s not clearly defined. We all believe something about ourselves, life, the world, God, the spiritual realm, and the afterlife. In tough times, most of us either lean heavily on our faith, begin to question it, or both.

Some deaths raise deep questions. We search for answers. Our emotions are varied, complicated, and frustrating. It’s easy to become spiritually frustrated too. We experience overwhelm, and spiritual fatigue sets in.

We engage in our usual spiritual activities, whatever they might be, or perhaps we distance ourselves from them. As with the rest of life, we might find ourselves going through the spiritual motions, but feeling little to nothing. What was once powerfully meaningful can now seem dull, drab, and empty.

We can become spiritually numb. This isn’t necessarily negative, but rather the natural result of having our hearts shattered and experiencing grief overload over a period of time.

Spiritual numbness can protect us. It can provide a much needed break from the intense emotional assault and the incessant search for answers. This numbness can be a valuable spiritual rest stop along the grief highway. For most, it’s a temporary state. We pause there for a while, and then re-engage when we’re ready. We all need rest— not just physical, but spiritual as well.

For some, spiritual numbness can be unnerving and frightening. In most cases, however, this is a natural part of the grief process about which we can say, “This too shall pass.”

“Losing you is spiritually exhausting. I’ll honor you by taking my heart seriously.”

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER: Have you experienced spiritual fatigue or numbness in your grief process? If so, what was it like? How did you respond to being spiritually numb? What seemed to help, and what didn’t?

Adapted from the Best Book Awards Finalist and Amazon Bestseller, Shattered: Surviving the Loss of a Child. View the brief Shattered videos here: Michelle, Gary.

Additional Recommended Resources:

10 Spiritual Truths About Loss and Healing – Belief Net

10 Myths About Grief Most of Us Believe – Belief Net

Grief Fatigue: When Exhaustion Becomes a Way of Life – The Grief Toolbox