Holidays can hurt. Christmas can be hard, especially when we’re missing someone.
And we’re all missing someone.
Today’s article is adapted from the recently released Comfort for the Grieving Spouse’s Heart. I hope you find it comforting and encouraging as you walk amid the memory minefield of this holiday season.
Please be kind to yourself. Read on…
FROM THE GRIEVING HEART:
Christmas is coming. I can feel the dread as it approaches.
Memories are everywhere. I bump into one with almost every step. How am I going to navigate this holiday?
I want to remember you and grieve well during this season. I want to honor you.
I’ve decided to write you a letter telling you how I’m doing and what I miss about you, about me, and about us. I know it will be emotional, but I believe it will be good.
I feel a little shy…but determined. You’re not here, but I still love you. I will express that love, as I can, when I can.
Maybe as time goes on, I will dread these special days less. Perhaps I can use them well and eventually they will bring joy instead of sadness. I choose to believe so.
I guess I could write a letter to you any day, couldn’t I? I don’t know why I didn’t think of that before.
I’m thinking of you and smiling. That feels good.
Special Days Can Be Hard
We all have special days. These might be recognized holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, or simply times that have significance for us and our relationship with our departed loved ones.
In any case, it’s good to be aware of these days and prepare for them. Many choose to do something meaningful to honor their loved one on these days.
Writing letters can be effective as this focuses our attention and slows down our distracted minds and hearts. We can express ourselves specifically and intentionally. Even if no one else reads it, our hearts have expressed themselves in a proactive and healthy way.
Making a simple plan for holidays can help us prepare and relieve a lot of potential angst. It’s helpful to be able to express what’s inside us somehow. Writing, drawing, painting, sculpting, and talking out loud are possibilities. Giving a donation in their name, serving somewhere in their honor, or continuing a tradition they enjoyed are also good options.
As we grieve, we can find ways to make these days not only more bearable but good. Tears will be shed, but there will be smiles too.
On holidays like Christmas, we remember. We express our love through our grief. We can grieve in ways that honor those we’ve lost. This holiday will be different, but it can still be good.
Affirmation: Rather than dreading this holiday season, I will make plans to remember and honor you. This is part of loving myself and you.
Question: Do you have a simple plan for honoring your loved one this season? If so, would you like to share it?
Additional Recommended Resources:
3 Tips for Enjoying the Holidays, Even While Grieving – Dr. Laura
Healthy Grieving During the Holidays #1 – PEACE 107
Healthy Grieving During the Holidays #2 – PEACE 107
