Today’s post is adapted from my recent book, Difference Maker. Whether your loss is fresh, years back there, or somewhere in the middle, I believe you can make a profound difference in this hurting, grieving world – even if you feel like a mess. Read on and see what you think…
Life and loss can put us in danger. Healthy living is a battle, and I’m inviting you — asking you — to fight.
Fight for yourself. Fight for those you care about. Fight for all those around you. Fight to make a difference in a broken and hurting world that desperately needs you.
Yes, you. You can make far more of a difference than you realize.
Difference-making has little to do with, in my opinion, how much money you have, what kind of place you live in, how talented you are, or your level of education.
Difference-making is about your heart. We all have one of those. Anyone can be a Difference Maker, anytime, anywhere.
You might feel depressed, anxious, worthless, and deeply wounded. Th at might be how you feel now, but now is not the future.
One of the greatest lies we can believe is, “It will always be this way.” The companion lie that follows it is even more devastating: “I will always be this way.”
Lies.
Now is not forever. Things will change. You can change. You can heal and grow. Again, I’m asking you to fight. You’re worth it. So are those around you.
What’s This Battle All About?
This battle — the right to become the Difference Maker you were designed to be — is all-important. It is a fight for your heart.
Your heart is your most prized possession. All of your life comes from it, one way or another. What you do with your heart is the most important thing about you.
Your heart wants to be significant and to make a difference. Deep down, you know you were made for impact. You long for purpose and meaning.
This battle is about finding and unearthing your heart.
Maybe your heart has been buried. Perhaps it’s suffocating. It gets pounded every day with powerful messages, traumatic images, and an overwhelming amount of information. The world spins quickly. Life moves with blazing speed. You get hit, hurt, and wounded. The world drags on, and pulls you along with it.
You’ve been hyperventilating inside without even knowing it. You’re nervous. Anxious. Scared.
Inside, way down deep, your heart is screaming.
Your heart is in danger.
If you don’t act, the world and the hits of life will likely silence it. You can’t afford to let that happen.
You must find your heart. You must dig it out from amid all the debris it’s buried under.
You must free your heart. When you do, difference-making will become automatic.
Freeing the heart, however, isn’t easy, quick, or simple. At first, it’s easy to confuse the world’s voice with your own. You’ve gotten used taking in messages from the outside. If these messages are powerful and frequent enough, you can begin believing them. You begin to hear messages that did not come from you in your own voice. This is the gutsiest part of the fight. The battlefield is your mind.
You must become aware of and expose the lies you’ve been living. Then you must discover the truth about yourself and those around you. Then you must believe and begin to live out who you really are, from your heart. We’ll so this together in the pages ahead.
As you do these things, you’ll find yourself living more and more from your heart. You’ll become more of who you were designed and destined to be.
You’ll be a Difference Maker.
Adapted from the newly released Difference Maker: Overcoming Adversity and Turning Pain into Purpose, Every Day.
Question: Have you experienced some of this “fight” in your life and grief process? Do you sense your heart is in danger? How so?
Additional Resources:
Difference Maker – Daily Authors Podcast
The Unusual 3-Step Stress Buster – Wellness.com
Living on the Edge: How to Fight and Win the Battle for Your Mind and Heart
This thanksgiving will be the 1st holiday without my mom. I miss her SO much.and yes the heart is at stake. I recently had a heart attack..called Broken Heart Syndrome. My friend of 40 years sent me this artical..I’m thankful she did..thank you
Hi Lynda. Oh my. I’m so sorry about your mom. And I’m so sorry about your heart attack. Yes, grief can have powerful physical results. Please be kind to yourself, especially this time of year. If you need extra support, please reach out! Blessings to you, Lynda.
Hi Gary,
I lost my 35 year old son last year, to cardiac arrest, after living most of his life with extreme manic depression. I purchased your book, “Shattered, Surviving the Loss of a Child.” It’s one of my favorite of 10 books on the subject of the death of your child, which I’m reading intermittently, along with my Bible. I’m still very much in pain of course, and even though I have a hope of the resurrection of the dead as Jesus taught at John 5:28-29, I know I’ll never be the same in this life; part of me died with my son. I’m enjoying this mini series also, and I want to thank you with all the pieces of my broken heart.
Hi Christine. Thanks for sharing. I’m so sorry about your son. It sounds like life was a struggle for him in many ways. I know you felt that as his mom. I’m also glad you’re reading your Bible. God’s Word really is our daily bread, and we benefit from “eating” it, even if we don’t fully understand, or even remember what we read later. It nourishes and heals us in ways we’re not aware of. And thank you for your comments about Shattered. It was a book written with much prayer. Such a difficult, painful subject. Please stay connected and reach out here any time. Christine. Your heart shines thhrough your words. You have a lot to give, and I know the world needs you. Blessings….
Hi Gary, I bought your book Shattered and Living on the Edge for my grandson and myself. I’m reading Shattered, a really good book of my own feelings that I just can’t seem to pull out and put into words myself. Life is very hard for me without my daughter, his mother. Been 4 yrs and and so many tears below the surface. Shattered helps to put my feelings into words. We need more people in the world with the authenticity flowing from their inner being such as you, your words are real, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to touch so many hurting hearts as you do. Thank you, Gary Roe…
Hi Sandy. Thanks for sharing this. And thank you for your kind words. Encouragement like this keeps me going and motivates me to keep writing. Thank you. I’m so sorry about your daughter. How awful that loss must have been and still is. I’m glad to be in this with you, Sandy, even though it’s not through face to faxce interactions. We need safe people to travel with. Blessings to you. Please be patient with yourself this Thanksgiving.
Gary I have communicated several times with such comforting words. I live alone and can’t stop my mind. The minute my thoughts go to my loved one I feel a tightening in my chest and it actually hurts. Then its followed my incredible since of being so tired. Other than raising my granddaughter who’s mother is the one who died I don’t feel needed. I have learning center for 16 years retraining the brain and want to use my skills to help prevent others from experiencing what my daughter went through starting very young in her life. However I have to make a living for Emma and feel so stiffled and stressed from making myself go on when I want to process. Every part of the day I feel such a deep pressure on my heart, I miss her so much and feel so empty. Gary do we know what part of the brain is effected by grief? I have a hard time with remembering things? Also, I have a hard time reading and wondered if any of this great information could be retrieved on audio? Sorry if I am rambling but that seems to be part of my grief. My heart hurts.
Hi Melanie. Thank you so much for sharing with me. First of all, I’m so sorry about your daughter. What a devastating loss. It’s clear you have a passion and calling to help others. Your heart is speaking there, and I sense your frustration – that you’re caught between what you feel you must do and what you really want to do. Ugh. Kepe doing what you must, and what you want to do will perhaps come a bit closer each day. I’ll pray that it will be so. And yes, memory issues can be a massive part of grief – especially grief like this. In terms of audio resources…I have a number of interviews and podcasts out there, and almost all of my books are on audio as well. Here’s the link to my Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/Gary-Roe/e/B00JD4XH0O All my books are listed there, and if you click on any given book, it will take you to that book page where there should be an audiobook option. I hope that helps. Please be kind to yourself, Melanie. Please feel free to email me, ask questions, etc.
I feel hatred in my heart at times and it’s so disturbing. I understand it’s temporary and not “normally” who I am. I have knowledge of the grieving process. Each person I grieve is different.
Thanks for sharing this and for your honesty. Yes…you’re right. Each step is a new one. Each moment is new. Our grief is unique and each loss is unique. This is tough, tough stuff. Thanks again for sharing. If I can ever be of help, please let me know.
No fight, it doesn’t change. I’ve resigned myself. This life with the loss of my only child will never change.
Hi Deb. Thanks for sharing. Yes, a loss like that runs so deep and changes everything – mainly us. I’m so sorry. Please be kind to yourself, Deb. You’re not alone – though I know it feels that way. Please feel free to reach out here any time…
Very soon will be 22 years since I lost my son my only child From that day I am fighting day night and I dont know how get to this day.I am so broken and in pain I cant say.I have no wish to go on.I dont see anything in front of me.I live alone as I lost my husband 4years ago.My life is so bad.I cant work nothing.Just read watching Tv and talking always the same story.My heart is ill and broken.I wish to die and not scared .I understand nobody can help me but me.How/Tell me please if you an answer.Ill be thankful to you.
Sending you my love and prayers from far away Serbia Europa.
Hi Danica. I’s so sorry about your son, and your husband. Oh my. No wonder you feel as you do. Your life sounds pretty isolated and lonely – and that’s more common than you would think after losses like this. Your heart needs healing, and there are no easy answers for that. Please feel free to email me, Danica. We can discuss this more, if you wish. You are not alone, and I am sure of that. Praying for you now…Please reach out. I’m here to help, if I can.
It’s been 4 years and 2 months when my 14 yr old grandson Justin was shot and died! It’s was and still is a nightmare! Ten yrs before Justin’s baby sister died at birth! Mentally and physically my health is not good I’ve done everything the professionals have told me! Just when I think I’m doing better I get hit again! I have lost a lot of loved ones but losing Justin is like I’m slowly dieing everyday! A man shot Justin with a muzzle loader when he was walking with his dad in the wilderness to make a long story short he only did 3 1/2 years and was released last month! As I read your words I wish that I could do this but it doesn’t happen I just go on telling anyone that I’m fine!
Hi JoAnn. I’m so sorry Yes, losses come, and then we recover a little, and then sometimes get hit again and again. And Justin’s death was so tragic and complicated – and so that means your grief will be most likely complicated too. No wonder you feel as you do. Please continue to reach out here – I’ll certainly help if I can. You’re not alone, JoAnn, though I know it feels that way. You can get through this…please be patient with yourself. One day, one step, one moment at a time. Praying for you now…