“Happy New Year!” they say.

Because of heavy losses, some of us might take exception to the happy part. We might hope it’s better than last, but we can’t quite imagine what happy would be yet.

Others of us are barely scraping by. We’re exhausted, and wondering where the energy for life is going to come from. Perhaps we’re numb, and unable to enter in to any kind of thinking about the future.

Some of us are cautiously peering ahead, wondering if there’s more loss waiting around the bend. We’ve been hit hard, and need time to heal.

What will this year be like? We don’t know. One thing is certain – it will be different than the last.

When I think about what I’m hoping for this year, several words come to mind.

 

Peace

I would like to experience more peace in my life.

My history of loss is heavy, and I still deal trauma as far back as childhood. Anxiety and fear used to be as natural as breathing for me.  I’ve learned over the decades that peace isn’t about circumstances, but rather about how secure my heart is. Peace in the midst of great storms is possible.

I want more of this kind of peace. More safety of the heart sounds wonderful.

 

Trust

I would like to let go more, and travel lighter.

For example, when I sense something amiss, I jump and try to fix it. I reach out and try to control things before they get out of hand. Sounds like I’m trying to protect myself, and those I love, from another loss.

This is kind of hyper-vigilant, try-to-be-in-control kind of living destroy the peace I long to experience. Ugh.

Do what I can. Live more in the present moment. Let go of more. Release things more quickly. Trust. 

For me, trust seems to lead to peace, and peace in turn facilitates more trust.

What do you want for your heart this year? What does your heart need the most?

Take this seriously, my friend.

You’re not alone. You’re not crazy. Together, we can make it.

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