Ever feel like screaming? With all the losses we get hit with, and all that happens to us and around us, it’s hard to believe we aren’t screaming most of the time.
Perhaps we are – silently, in the deep recesses of our hearts.
Maybe it’s time we let a little of that pain out.
Betty went a little nuts – on purpose
Betty lived in a nursing home and spent her waking hours in a wheelchair. She suffered from an assortment of ailments, but none of them could touch her mind. She was sharp.
“Hello, Betty. How are you today?” I asked.
“Well, to be honest, I feel kind of stupid,” Betty said, cocking an eyebrow. “I don’t know which end is up and I can’t see well enough to find it anyway. And if I could find it I wouldn’t know what to do with it.”
I smiled. Betty began to giggle.
“So, you know what I’m thinking about doing?” she continued. “I’m thinking about having a nervous breakdown. I’ve never had one of those. Wonder how you do that. Do I begin by screaming?”
Now I began to giggle.
Betty looked at me, her eyes growing larger by the second. Suddenly she threw her head back and began waving her arms and screaming.
The staff at the nursing station looked up, startled. I took a quick step forward. Betty abruptly stopped screaming and shouted, “Stay where you are! I’m not done yet!” Then she smiled and started screaming again. The staff giggled and returned to their work. I rolled my eyes, crossed my arms, and waited.
After a few more seconds, she stopped.
“Are you done now?” I asked.
“Yes, quite. That was fun. Let’s do it again sometime,” she said.
Screaming therapy?
Life does get a little crazy at times. Sometimes, it hurts. Deeply. We miss loved ones. Our hearts are broken. Maybe some screaming therapy is in order.
I’m serious. Screaming can be therapeutic. At least it was for me.
When I experienced intense grief as a result of flashbacks about childhood sexual abuse, I often screamed into a pillow. Other times, I would make my way to the car, drive a few miles from the house, and let it rip.
It was so effective, I’ve screamed many times sense (not in public, of course). Intense grief is powerful – and it deserves healthy, powerful expression.
Healthy release, is, well, healthy
There is so much inside us needing release:
- Sadness
- Frustration
- Anger
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Despair
The pressure builds over time. If we don’t let it out, it leaks – or explodes – usually in unhealthy ways.
What if we were proactive? What if, when we felt things building, we excused ourselves and had some screaming therapy (privately, of course)?
It’s definitely better than a nervous breakdown.
Thanks Betty.
Question: Have you ever engaged in some screaming therapy? What was that like for you?
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Gary, a good, long and loud scream followed by a good cry help tremendously!! I highly recommend both as often as needed!! They are both great therapy!! Thank you once again for you helpful advice and a great blog. Blessings to you.
Howdy Kirk. Good to hear from you, and thank you for your encouragement. I appreciate it! Blessings…
10 months after I lost my daughter I went into her room and, well, I let it rip! I screamed, I mean I really let it go! Thank goodness I live on ten acrs or someone would have thought I was being killed. It helped, God has been my anchor and savior but I miss her so much that now, a year later, I think it is time for another good screaming.
Hi Joy. I’m thankful for you. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for the way you are grieving, and giving back – and ministering. Amazing. So proud of you. If I can ever do anything for you, please let me know. Blessings…
sorry for your loss
Hi Gary, yes I have given this a try when I have known no one is in at the properties around me but I will be trying this when I’m out in the countryside……I feel this will be a great help, too much grief is stifled and its good to let it out. Thanks
Hey Brian. Sounds like fun, sort of. Yes, it’s good to let it out! Blessings…
OMG, I love this! And thank you and Betty for a good laugh which I desperately needed. Yes, I have done some screaming myself and it feels good. I spent a long time trying to not be “negative” (which included screaming, swearing or ranting about something) and it just about drove me more crazy than I am now. I now let myself be negative and it helps a lot. Love your work Gary.
HI Sheila. Thanks for commenting. I love how you expressed yourself. Way to go! If I can ever do anything for you, please give me a shout!
Hmmn…never tried this, but I am going to
Hi Ginny. Give it a try! Let me know how it goes. Hope you’re doing well. Blessings…
I used to go to the cemetery where my husband is buried and rant and scream, cry at him for leaving. The maintenance man would stand off and wait until I was done then come over and ask if I was ok. At first, I would tell him no, but I will be. Now when I visit his grave I still cry after 6 yrs but now when the maintenance man sees me and asks I can tell him I’m ok. I know I will never be back to what I was before he died but I am making progress.
Hi Dee. Thank you for sharing. Well said. Yes, you are making progress. Progress of the heart is hard to measure. Healing is tough to quantify. But we can look back and see it. Blessings to you….
Hi Gary,
This is Darci Clark from the old Sky Valley Bible Church in Monroe, WA. My daughter, Caitlin, and Maria were friends. I receive your emails and read them, and like them, then go on with my day. However, this morning was different. I received your email, read it and just sat crying and immobile, and continue crying while I write this. It was an immediate trigger to a wall of feelings I was never able to remember since 2011, when all this happened.
It started when I read the statement, “I’m thinking about having a nervous breakdown…do I begin by screaming?” The answer fell out of my mouth, “No, you don’t scream…you can’t. You sit motionless, sitting on the couch staring at the wall, unable to put two thoughts together because there are no thoughts to put together. I am completely numb to any thought process. I can only think about 5 minutes ahead, anymore than that is a enormous empty crevasse. Don’t know how many days this continued until I could start, very slowly, being present in life, although no decisions were possible for some time. I couldn’t leave the house without one of my kids, usually Caitlin, because I was lost once I lost site of our home. I went thru a battery of tests for Alzheimer’s, Dementia, etc. The psychiatrist sent results to my therapist. I was in the midst of a mental breakdown and PTSD from many, many years of horrible, intense mental and emotional abuse by my husband, who finally left.
Ok, wow and wow! I can’t believe this all just came from me. I don’t know what to say but, first, thank you, God! Next, thank you, Gary, for sending this out. Betty, if she is a real person, sounds like a fun lady! I wish I could take the rest of the day on a drive but I am a full-time student at Bellevue College studying for my AA in Accounting and I have a big paper due by midnight.
I hope all is well with you, Gary. Umm, thank you, and I feel kinda awkward now, so I’ll…just go.
Hello Darci. Thank you for sharing. Goodness. You have been through it. Please feel free to email me any time, or contact me through my Facebook page. I”m here to help. I’m proud of you – your perseverance and healing. It’s tough, tough stuff. Blessings…