[dropcap2 variation=”coffee”]”W[/dropcap2]hat a loss! They’re hurting so badly. I want to help, but I just don’t know what to do.”
In my work as a hospice chaplain, I frequently hear statements like this. When a friend or loved one is hurting, we want to help. We want to bring comfort and assure them that all will be well.
Here are four simple things I believe can make a profound difference for a friend that is grieving:
1. Pray for them.
This is so simple and probably the most powerful thing we can do. Prayer is action. God can do what we cannot.
2. Show up.
Don’t let your emotions about their pain keep you from engaging with them. Don’t worry about what to say. You don’t have to say anything. Just show up. Be there. Your presence and your time are powerful gifts that will aid their healing more than you can imagine.
3. Offer to do something.
“Please let me do something for you. What would help you out?” If they can’t think of anything, suggest something based on what you know of their life. You could make phone calls, go to the store, fill the car with gas, pick up the kids, babysit, bring a meal, drive them where they need to go, or clean their kitchen.
4. Keep showing up.
Don’t expect them to get over this, but with your help they can get through it. Keep showing up, but don’t hover. Don’t try to help them feel better. Just walk alongside them and be their friend as they go through the pain.
We all experience loss. It’s how we go through it that matters. You can make a huge difference.
