“I don’t know how to do this.”
I have certainly felt that way. Have you?
Loss catapults us into a new world. We’ve never been here before. We don’t know what to do or how to be.
The following is an excerpt from my book, Comfort for Grieving Hearts. I hope you find this brief chapter comforting and helpful. I’ll bet you can relate…
I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS
FROM THE GRIEVING HEART:
I miss you. I know I say that a lot, but it’s true.
I could say, “I love you.” That’s still true too. It always will be.
I guess that means that I’ll always miss you. I can’t imagine life without you, even though that’s the life I’m living now. I think it will be a long time before I stop looking for you. I keep expecting you to come around the corner, to text, or to call.
I don’t know how to do this. I feel terrible. I’m sad. I feel alone. Everyone’s looking at me, like they’re trying to size up how I’m doing. People I counted on have disappeared. I guess they don’t know what to do with this either.
Why did you have to go? I know this is final, but my heart keeps trying to find a way to reverse history and make you appear. I’m not ready to let you go. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.
I love you. I miss you.
We miss them. Love runs deep in the heart. Once it takes up residence, it will not be dislodged or evicted. Love remains. Love endures all things. It knows no time limit.
Yes, we will always miss them. Love has carved a permanent place for them in our hearts and lives. Their physical presence may be gone, yet they somehow linger. Their words, actions, and influence remain, hovering around us, bouncing about in our minds. Memories have become painful and wonderful at the same time.
When loss strikes the heart, we naturally withdraw a little. Stunned, we need time to collect ourselves and begin to tussle with the unwanted and the unthinkable. We’re not ourselves at present. Our family and friends notice this and often don’t know what to do with it.
We feel alone. Grief is naturally a lonely process, even if we’re surrounded by people. “I’m alone in a crowd,” one grieving heart said.
We miss them because we love them. We will continue loving and missing them. We might find ourselves looking for them in familiar places.
Their absence will stun us again and again.
We loved, and so we grieve.
Affirmation: I’m missing you. Feeling alone is natural when grieving.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6
Excerpt from Comfort for Grieving Hearts: Hope and Encouragement for Times of Loss
Comfort for Grieving Hearts has been revised and expanded into other books specifically for the loss of a spouse, a child, and a parent. You can check out the entire Comfort Series here.
Question: “I don’t know how to do this!” Have you felt this way in your grief process? What was that like? Feel free to comment below.
