In my last post, I talked about seven reasons why we tend to be hard on ourselves while grieving:

1. Perfectionism.
2. The desire for control.
3. Being super-responsible.
4. Guilt / Shame.
5. Keeping up appearances.
6. The need to be strong.
7. Past pain, trauma, and wounds.

Loss is already super-challenging. The above seven things put our grief on steroids, making every day seem like a solo climb of Mount Everest.

How do we deal with these seven challenges? Is this simply the way it is, or is there something we might do differently that would help us grieve in healthier ways?

I am reminded of Jesus’ words in Matthew 11:28-30:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30).

First, Jesus issues an invitation to those who are fatigued, exhausted, and burdened. The invitation is simple: “Come to me.”

No to-do list. No laundry list of have-to’s. Just, “Come to me.”

Second, Jesus gives us a promise: “I will give you rest.”

“Come to me…I will give you rest.” Simple. Straightforward.

Then, Jesus goes into more detail. “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me.”

Another invitation. Jesus is inviting us to lay down our burdens – our yoke – and to enter His yoke with Him. To join Him in what He is doing. To let Him lead.

Jesus is speaking of a wooden yoke – a double yoke, for two oxen. A young, novice oxen who had never been in a yoke would be placed with an older, experienced ox. Not knowing what to do, the younger ox would typically pull this way and that and exhaust himself in the process. Then the experienced ox would take over, do the heavy lifting, and move ahead. The younger ox learned to simply follow along. He was basically along for the ride while the experienced ox did the work.

Jesus invites us to lay down our burdens and let Him do the heavy lifting. He’s got this. He’s experienced. He can handle it. “Learn from me,” He says.

Next, another promise: “I am gentle and humble of heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

Rest for our souls. Deep, abiding peace.

Then Jesus ends with a statement of fact: “My yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Why? Because Jesus is doing the heavy lifting. Jesus is leading. Jesus is doing the work.

Exhausted? Burdened? Struggling?

Come to me. Lay down your burden. Lay down your yoke. Enter my yoke with me. Follow me. Let me lead. Trust me. I know how to do this. Walk with me. You will find rest for your soul – in me.

We can choose to lay down perfectionism. We don’t have to put on that yoke. It’s impossible. We’re not perfect – far from it.

We can choose to lay down the desire for control. We can let go. Control is an illusion anyway.

We can quit trying to be god and lay down the yoke of over-responsibility. We’re just not that powerful. We’re human.

We can choose to release the yoke of guilt and shame. These crushing weights are too much for us.

Keeping up appearances is exhausting and fruitless. Our hearts long to be seen and heard.

We can lay aside the need to appear strong. We’re not strong enough for this, but Jesus is.

The pain, trauma, and wounds of the past are too heavy for us. We were not meant to carry them. We were meant to surrender them and heal from them.

In summary…

Loss is hard enough. We tend to make it even harder by trying to do it all ourselves. Jesus walks along beside us and offers us something much better. He invites us to…

• Come to Him.
• Lay down our burdens (our yoke).
• Walk with Him and enter His yoke (what He is doing).
• Let Him lead and do the heavy lifting
• Begin to experience rest – His rest – for our souls.

Jesus is the ultimate grief expert. He knows all about pain, suffering, and loss. He is well-acquainted with grief, rejection, betrayal, misunderstanding, false accusations, mocking, persecution, abuse, torture, and even death. He knows. He gets it.

And He experiences our losses with us. He knows you – completely – down to your thoughts and emotions and beyond.

I can’t imagine a better grief companion.

I invite you to join me as once again today I come to Jesus, lay down my yoke (my burdens, worries, fears, etc.), walk with Him, let Him lead, and join Him in what He is doing. My soul needs rest. I’m betting yours does too.

Don’t go this alone. You don’t have to. Don’t go all stubborn and independent. You’ll only exhaust yourself. I know. Been there. Done that. Many times.

You are not alone. Far from it. He’s with you, right now.

Thanks for reading. I’m glad to be in this with you.

Question: How does your heart respond to Jesus’ words in Matthew 11:28-30? Are there some burdens you need to lay down? Please feel free to respond in the comment section below.