In my last post, I began talking about some of the things that can seriously disrupt our lives and our grief journey. I called them peace thieves.

Last time, we talked about five of these sneaky culprits: hurry, worry, noise, busy-ness, and comparison. These saboteurs are not our friends. Undetected and unaddressed, they can wreak havoc in our already broken hearts.

Today, I want to introduce you to five more peace thieves. As you read about them, it will become clear that these enemies of peace do not help us in grief or in life.

Here we go…

Peace Thief #6: Entitlement

I used to think others – especially those younger than myself – had entitlement issues. Me? Not so much.

Wow. I was wrong.

Just throw a little suffering and grief my way, and suddenly I think I have a right to feel better, to be rescued, to not have to endure such things, and to be happy. I grow frustrated and even angry as no one seems to be coming through and giving me what I think I need. It’s all about me, me, me.

Loss, grief, pain, and suffering tend to turn us inward. The world and its media messages have duped us into thinking we deserve this or that – that we are entitled to, well, you name it.

Are you wondering if entitlement in an issue in your life. Complete the sentence, I’m entitled to ____________. If you put anything in the blank, then entitlement is active in your heart.

Entitlement is not our friend. It cultivates inside us an insidious brand of narcissism that messes with our hearts, our minds, our relationships, and our healing process.

Peace Thief #7: Lies

Last month, we talked a lot about lies. Lies we believe about grief. Lies we believe about ourselves. Lies we believe about other people. Lies deceive us. Lies suck us into living in false realities. Lies get us stuck and keep us in bondage.

Lies steal our peace. Lies like…

• “I’m a loser. I can’t even grieve right.”
• “I have to be perfect.”
• “I have to be in control.”
• “I’m entitled to have life go the way I want it to.”

Lies keep us chasing our tails and block healing.

Peace Thief #8: Pride

By pride, I’m talking about the Biblical definition of pride. That definition would be something like a self-focused mindset where self is elevated above all else, as evidenced by the prominence of words like me, my, and mine. Pride is active when I am pretending to be God. At that moment, I am believing the ultimate of all lies. When I live out that lie, I am not living in reality. Peace evaporates.

Frustration, anger, fear, guilt, shame, confusion, and entitlement flood in and take over. Pride of this nature is incredibly destructive.

In the Bible, God tells us that this is ultimate sin behind all others. Pride is the beginning of a downward spiral that has no bottom. It is terribly dangerous. There is no peace in a heart full of pride.

Peace Thief #9: Control

One of the manifestations of pride is the lust for control. I use lust here on purpose. At times, we become absolutely obsessed with our perceived need to be in control.

Of course, to be in control, we have to control, well, everything. We think we have to control what happens to us. To do that, we have to control situations, circumstances, and other people. We have to control the world around us. The more out-of-control we feel, the more control we try to exercise.

Control is never satisfied with just a little bit. Control is always a total thing.

Control is a lie. We never have control. Control is an illusion. When we seek it, we’re chasing a phantom that cannot be caught. The result is a life of going around and around in circles but never really going anywhere. Control leaves in its wake shattered hearts, bitter souls, broken relationships, and massive regret.

Peace and control cannot co-exist. They are mutually exclusive.

Peace Thief #10: Bitterness

Terrible things have happened. Loss can be devastating. We can become disappointed and disillusioned to the point where we become bitter.

When bitterness invades a heart, it’s poison spreads quickly. Like a terrible generative disease, our bitterness begins to show itself in our attitudes, words, actions, and relationships. Bitterness cannot be hidden or stuffed. It will come out – leaking all over our lives and relationships, even onto those we love the most.

Bitterness is not our friend. It is a grave enemy of peace.

Offenses will come. We must get good at forgiving. We must learn to forgive often and quickly, even daily and moment-by-moment. We cannot afford to let bitterness take root in the soil of our hearts.

Here are some Bible verses that have meant a lot to me in my battle against these peace thieves:

Entitlement: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23)

Lies: Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32)

Pride: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6)

Control: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.(Proverbs 3:5-6)

Bitterness: Be kind and compassionate, forgiving one another just as God in Christ has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32)

In summary, here are our 10 peace thieves:

• Hurry
• Worry
• Noise
• Busy-ness
• Comparison
• Entitlement
• Lies
• Pride
• Control
• Bitterness

What a lovely list, right? And here’s the kicker: we all struggle with most of these, if not all of them, often all at once.

So, what do we do?

More on that next time.

Thanks for reading. Take heart today. Now is not forever. Comfort, hope, and healing are all very real. You are not alone. You will make it through this.

Glad to be in this with you.

Question: Which of these peace thieves are most active in your life? Feel free to comment and share.