Most of us would love to have more peace.
Inner peace. Peace of mind. Peace of heart.
Peace with God. Peace with other people. Peace with ourselves.
The loss of loved ones and the resulting grief journey can be excruciating. Everything is upside down. Life has been turned inside out. The emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, and relational upheaval can be overwhelming.
Peace?
Peace can seem hard to come by.
Peace is more than a temporary calm, though we would certainly welcome some calm.
Peace is more than momentary tranquility that situations or circumstances can bring.
The peace we’re all looking for is peace that lasts – a deep sense of okay-ness no matter what’s happening to us or around us. Our experience of this peace might go up and down, but it is always there and available. We need a peace that never leaves.
This is the peace the Bible talks about – peace that transcends our understanding.
The challenge is that there’s a war on. We’re right smack in the middle of it. Enemies of peace – this enduring peace – are everywhere. In fact, I can find most of them littering my daily life.
So today, I would like to expose some of these peace thieves. See how many of them have become staples in your routine.
Peace Thief #1: Hurry
Is life fast or what?
The world moves with blazing speed. Keeping up is now impossible. Most of us are scurrying to keep from getting too far behind.
Then one day, we wake up and say, “Too far behind what? Who’s leading here? Who’s setting this insane pace?”
Many of us would like to get off the Hurry Train, but we don’t know how. Allow me to introduce a book that might help: The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. This book shook me out of my ruts and challenged me in new ways. The result has been a much less hurried (and much, much more peaceful) life.
Hurry is not our friend. It steals our peace.
Peace Thief #2: Worry.
In my life, hurry often leads to worry. And then worry turns around and leads to hurry. It’s a nasty, peace-stealing cycle.
We worry because we feel out of control about something. That’s interesting, because when are we ever in control? It’s actually our perceived need for control (which we don’t have and can never attain) that starts the worry engine.
We make choices, but we are never in control. A friends of mine recently said, “I start living when I die to my desire to control things in order to have the life I want.” I know that statement is a bit awkward, but let it settle in.
Worry is not our friend.
Peace Thief #3: Noise.
Our world is noisy. Noisy, noisy, noisy. In fact, we seem to be addicted to noise (and hurry, and worry).
Do we have a tough time being quiet? Does solitude scare us for some reason? Is being alone with our own thoughts something of the past?
My brain can’t handle constant stimulation. For me, silence cultivates peace. It helps slow down my spinning mind and churning heart. Maybe there’s a reason we have the phrase peace and quiet.
Peace Thief #4: Busy-ness.
There’s activity and then there’s over-activity. It’s awfully easy to shift gears from a pace where peace is actually possible to one where we’re being carried along somewhere we don’t want to go.
Activity is a good thing, if it helps produce peace in our daily lives. Busy-ness can be a form of running – an attempt to flee from the pain, stress, and grief we’re experiencing. The real trouble is that busy-ness promises relief but can’t deliver. We plop down exhausted only to find our frustrations and challenges still sitting on our shoulders.
Does your activity level cultivate and promote peace? Or is busy-ness stealing from you?
Peace Thief #5: Comparison.
Someone has probably said, “To compare is human.” If they haven’t, well, I guess I just did. It surely seems true enough.
We start comparing early. We measure ourselves and how we’re doing based on others around us. Life becomes a competition for accolades, affection, relationships, jobs, status, strength, beauty, success, and a host of other things.
In reality, comparison is the thief of joy. We’re never really content. We just win or lose. We’re either pleased with ourselves or descend into envy. Even when we’re hurting and grieving, we compare, and cause ourselves even more pain.
Comparison makes experiencing lasting peace almost impossible.
Whew. What a list.
As you read, did you notice how connected these five peace thieves are? They work in tandem to stomp out the seeds of peace wherever they find them. This gang works overtime to keep you frustrated, confused, and frazzled.
Okay, so what do we do about all this?
Experiencing more real peace in our lives – and in our grief process – begins with becoming aware of these thieves.
As you go through your day, just begin to take note of when these thieves are exerting their influence.
Here they are again. Take a good look at these words. Let them burn into your brain: hurry, worry, noise, busy-ness, comparison.
Ask God to alert you to when these tricksters are operating. When you find yourself hurried, worried, filling the air with noise, overly busy, or comparing, just take note and say, “Ah-ha!”
That’s all for now. Believe it or not, that’s a major part of the battle.
Next time, I’ll introduce you to five more peace thieves. Yes, this notorious gang is bigger than you thought.
After that, I’ll tell you about some wonderful friends of peace – things and people that will cultivate and promote abiding peace in your life.
And along the way, I’ll share with you my desperate struggle at finding and experiencing peace. It wasn’t pretty, but God has been, well, God. Enduring peace comes from Him.
Be patient with yourself today. Loss is so painful. Grief is ultra-challenging.
Question: Are these peace thieves operating in your life? Which one is most troublesome for you? Feel free to comment and share below.
Seems like lately, mine is OVER BUSYNESS.
I’m not sure if I’m just overwhelmed but l as lately trying to get everything done , finished, my house work and all my husband’s outdoor chores beings it is summer.
Then I take on volunteer work to help community 1-2 times a week. I also struggle with being ALONE and QUIET, but I am seeing that I do need more of that quietness in my life, so I do spend my mornings quietly for a few hours. I throughly enjoyed this article. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Becky. I can relate. I can always use some more quiet. Thank you for sharing. Well said!
WORRY~ I am struggling to surrender and TRUST God completely since losing my son and my whole world. I am desperately trying to find purpose. I worry because I cannot fix this. I need to accept and trust.
Hi Cindy. Thanks for sharing. I can so relate. It’s so easy to wonder, then worry, then comes anxiety, and then… Yes, it seems to all come down to whether we believe God is good. It’s hard to trust Him if we’re questioning His goodness. Thankfully, He is gracious and patient. Very, very patience. Lord, teach us to trust.
Comparison has been with me since as far back as I can remember. My mother compared me to her friends’ daughters, cousins, basically anyone who had a daughter. I never measured up and so when I lost her (my mom) it was hard. the peace that friends and family said would come because to them she was a great lady. Didn’t come for a while. I had to constantly forgive her in my heart time and time again. But though God’s grace I have found the peace through forgiving her.
Thank you, thank you for sharing this struggle. Way to go for forgiving – and continuing to forgive. As we’re obedient, the experience of freedom in Christ (which we already have) comes in practical ways. Bless you for persisting and trusting. Praying for you now…
The first three hurry, worry, and noise. The one that affects me more is noise as l work in a very noisy environment, people sometimes do not understand or like quiet.
Hi Sharon. Thanks for sharing these. I can certainly relate to all of them. And you’re right – some people don’t want quiet, can’t stand quiet, and I think are terrified by quiet. Sad, sad. Praying for you, for victory over these three thieves!