Loss is incredibly difficult. We’re made for connection not separation. The pain can be intense.

Our hearts are broken. We feel shattered. Devastated. The grief inside can be overwhelming.

Look at that last sentence again. “The grief inside…”

Stating the obvious, the grief is inside us. Grief does not come from the outside, although things from the outside will frequently trigger our grief and spawn grief bursts. Grief, like love, is a matter of the heart.

Grief will come out, one way or another. If we ignore the grief, it will seep or explode out anyway.

If we try to stuff it or put it off, at some point it leak or spew out. Overall, we do better if we can find ways to get the grief out.

When it comes to getting the grief out, we’re really talking about expressing what’s going on inside us. That’s where T.W.A. comes in.

T. – Talk. Talk it out.

W. – Write. Write it out.

A. – Art. Art it out.

Today, let’s focus on T. – Talk it out.

Talking it out is perhaps the simplest way to get the grief out.

Talk out loud about what’s happening inside, as much as is possible, as it’s happening. Here’s an example…

“I’m feeling sad today. I’m thinking about the world and all the upheaval, unkindness, and division. I wonder what’s going to happen next. I’m worried and concerned. The loss of my brother showed me that anything can happen to anyone at any time. That’s frightening…”

Or it could be as simple as, “I’m frustrated. I don’t know why. I’m also sad. I miss my dad.”

You get the idea.

I talk out loud a lot – in the morning during my devotional time, in the car, in the kitchen while cooking, while I’m cooling down after exercising, etc. It’s become a helpful habit.

Talking it out – out loud to myself – slows my mind down enough to actually begin to express some of what’s pinging around in my heart. It’s crowded in there (my heart and mind), and I can use a little more space.

Feelings often come with the words. Talking it out allows me to feel my emotions, air them, and let them pass on through (although sometimes this takes a while).

At first, I recommend starting small. Keep it simple. Simply state out loud what you’re thinking right now. See where it goes. Keep talking out loud as long as you wish.

If you’re anything like me, I begin talking out loud and then suddenly find myself silent again with all those racing thoughts pinging around everywhere. When I realize this, I simply begin talking out loud again.

Now, you might be thinking, “That’s too simple.” Or perhaps, “That’s silly. Awkward. What good can that really do?”

Try it. See what you think.

Don’t try it just once. Give your heart a chance. Try it over a couple of weeks. Make a serious effort. The more you try talking out loud about what’s happening inside, the more of a habit talking it out will become.

The more you talk it out, the more you will get the grief out. The more you get it out, the more you’ll process the grief inside.

As a follower of Jesus, my talking it out frequently becomes prayer. Jesus is always with me and listening, so why not? I become more conscious of His presence, and that can make all the difference.

So, what’s happening in your heart right now?

Talk it out. Give it a try.

Of course, you can talk it out and share what’s happening inside with someone you trust. That would be great – excellent, in fact. The problem is there’s not always a safe person there when need to get some grief out.

As you practice talking it out alone, most likely you’ll find that talking it out with others becomes easier.

Talking it out can be a wonderful grief skill.

Thanks for reading. I hope this brings some hope, encouragement, and comfort to you today.

Please be kind to yourself.

Until next time…

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and He delivered them from their distress. (Psalm 107:6)