This week we had another great Virtual Hangout Session via Zoom. We talked about Handling Emotional Overwhelm.

This topic is so relevant, I thought I would share with everyone a summary of what I presented.

To overwhelm means to upset, overpower, crush. To engulf, surge over and submerge. Emotions are incredibly powerful. They can hijack us in a moment. They can sweep us off our feet and carry us away.

When we’re grieving, emotional overwhelm can sometimes seem like a daily experience.

When loss strikes the heart, emotions begin to cascade out.

Shock, denial, disbelief, numbness. Sadness, depression, hopelessness, despair. Anger, hate, blame, resentment, bitterness, rage. Guilt, regret, remorse, shame. Pain, hurt, helplessness, frustration. Anxiety, fear, panic, terror.

Which of these emotions have you experienced since your loss?

Which emotions are you experiencing now?

Which emotions bother you the most?

Here are some basic truths about emotions:

• Emotions are powerful. Incredibly powerful.
• Emotions are feelings. Feelings are meant to be felt.
• Emotions are temporary. They will change.
• Emotions are real, but they are not necessarily reality.
• Emotions are not a basis for good decision-making.
• Emotions have thoughts behind them. Emotions do not exist in a vacuum.

We either learn to handle our emotions, or our emotions will handle us.

So, how do we handle emotional overwhelm?

When hit by emotion….STOP. Pause for a moment. Breathe.

Then begin to process what’s happening inside you. I have a simple technique for this. It’s called A.I.R. your Emotions.

A – Acknowledge.

Acknowledge the emotion. Simple awareness of what you’re feeling is a large part of the battle.

State the emotion. Say it out loud, if possible. “I’m feeling ____________.”

“I’m feeling anxious.” “I’m angry.” “I feel hopeless.”

For some more possible emotions, see the above list.

Just acknowledging the emotion can help to unplug some of its power.

I – Identify.

Identify the thought behind the emotion. Feelings have thoughts behind them.

Again, if possible, say this out loud: “I am / was thinking about ___________.”

“I’m anxious. I was just thinking about the time when ___________.”

“I’m angry. I just saw someone who reminded me of my loved one and it took me right back to their death.”

“I feel hopeless. I was thinking about how much I’ve lost and that nothing will be the same again.”

Identifying the thought behind the feeling is important. Otherwise the feelings can get stuck inside with nowhere to go.

R – Release.

Release the emotion. You’ve already begun to do this by talking out loud – acknowledging the feelings and identifying the thoughts behind them.

Keep talking out loud until you feel somewhat “finished.” You can also write about it. Write it out.

I usually A.I.R. my feelings through prayer. I talk out loud to God about what’s happening inside me.

A.I.R. your Emotions is simply a technique. It’s definitely not a magic pill. It might seem a bit awkward and cumbersome at first. As you practice it, however, it can become a helpful habit.

We ended our Zoom session by looking at Psalm 42. This Psalm is a great example of being honest with our emotions and including God in the process. I encourage you to take a look. Read through it slowly.

The writers expressed their grief and angst. They “poured out their hearts” to Him. They also chose to raise their eyes above their situation. They chose to trust, even when everything around them seemed uncertain.

Emotions are a gift from God, but it doesn’t always “feel” that way. Learning to handle our emotions is important. Otherwise our emotions might end up handling us.

Stop. Pause. Breathe.

Be kind to yourself today.

Which grief emotions are you experiencing at present? Which emotion seems to bother you the most? Please feel free to comment below.