When loss strikes, our world is turned upside down. We’re shocked, stunned, and perhaps even paralyzed. Working through what happened is difficult, painful, and exhausting.

We all want to grieve well – to grieve in ways that are healthy and that honor our loved one. Thankfully, there is not one right way to do this. There are several excellent, healthy, and proven ways to work through intense and enduring grief.

One of those ways is writing.

Not surprisingly, one of the reasons writing is so effective is because it takes effort. Once you get started writing, in small steps of course, it gets easier over time.

Now before you say, “Not for me. I’m not a writer. Takes too much time and too much energy,” please read a little further.

You’re right. Not everyone is a writer or likes to write.

The good news is that you don’t have to be a writer to write. You don’t have to be a writer for writing to make a massive difference in your grief journey.

And you’re right again. Writing does take time and energy, perhaps more so than some other things.

Writing is an investment. If you knew that investment would pay big dividends in your heart and life, would you give it a try?

It just might be the best grief work you’ve done. It might help more than you can imagine.

If you’ve read this far, please keep going. Read to the end, and then see what you think.

Below are some thoughts on grief and writing from the first chapter of my new book, Grieving the Write Way for Siblings. Here we go…

MY PERSONAL HISTORY WITH WRITING AND GRIEF

I experienced multiple, traumatic losses in early childhood. By the time I was a teenager, I was slogging through each day carrying massive weights that I was unaware of.

Then I lost my dad. He dropped in front of me of a heart attack. He was a single dad and my one functional parent.

My grief burden was already massive. When this lightning bolt struck, I thought my life was over. I was stunned.

I managed to stay functional. I went to school. I stayed on the swim team. I kept connecting with my friends. Because of previous losses, however, I already felt different from my peers. Now, I felt like I lived alone in some alternate universe.

One day I picked up a pencil and started writing. A poem materialized. I wasn’t a poetry fan, but somehow it fit my mood that day. The next day, I wrote another poem. A few days later, I penned another.

Writing poetry opened an avenue for my heart to express its anguish. Sadness, confusion, anger, fear, anxiety, and guilt spewed out of me, one word at a time. I felt lousy but expressing myself felt relieving.

I continued writing poetry throughout high school. In college, I began to journal. When I was upset or frustrated, I found myself writing down what I was feeling and thinking.

Keeping a journal became a habit. Writing about what was happening inside became a part of my daily routine. I continue this today.

As a grief recovery author, grief specialist, and grief coach, I’m around death, loss, and heavy grief every day. I use writing to process and release the huge amount of pain that I hear and see. Writing becomes especially valuable to me when I experience another loss – and there have been many losses throughout the decades.

When my brother, my only sibling, died last year, writing again became key to my recovery and healing. Frankly, I don’t know what I would do without writing as a way of processing the pain, difficulties, and losses of life.

WRITING AND THE GRIEF PROCESS

Writing can play a massive part in the grief and healing process.

Writing steadies our hearts enough to express our emotions in a healthy and productive way.

Writing slows our spinning minds down enough to get our thoughts on paper and begin to process them.

Writing gives us a safe place to express and process spiritual questions, doubts, and fears.

Writing allows us to share our frustrations about our relationships in an honest and uncensored manner.

Writing enables us to consider and work through our thoughts, wonderings, and fears about the future.

Writing can be a tool which unveils hope. Hope is always here, but sometimes pain can blind us to it.

HOW THIS BOOK CAN HELP

This book is about you and the terrible loss you’re enduring.

This book is about helping you express your heart, mind, and soul.

This book can aid you in tackling (in a sane and healthy way) all the changes that have been thrust upon you.

This book can help you honor your sibling as you grieve.

This book can help you take the next steps in your grief process, whatever they might be.

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There. What do you think? If you’ve never used writing to help in your grief, I heartily recommend you give it a try.

If you’ve lost a brother or sister, this new book was written for you. I’ll keep you posted on its release.

If you’re dealing with another type of loss, please check out the first book in this series, Grieving the Write Way Journal and Workbook.

I’m glad to be on this journey with you. None of us is alone. We travel together today.

Question: Have you used writing in your grief process? What’s been helpful for you? Feel free share and comment.