Grief can be sneaky.
A couple of months ago, Liz Carey, a writer for GoodRx, contacted me wanting to do an article on how to live with grief.
As we talked, the interview took a different direction than I had anticipated. Liz asked me if I had personally ever felt stuck in grief.
I responded, “Yes, but I didn’t know it was grief.”
“Could you tell me more about that?” Liz asked.
What came next was a story of delayed grief that deeply affected my life for over two decades.
You can read Liz’s article here – Living with Grief: The Heartache of Losing Someone Can Catch Up with You Later.
We put off grief sometimes. The truth is, we simply can’t process it all.
So grief keeps popping up. Over and over. Even decades later.
We love deeply, don’t we?
Have you felt stuck in grief? What was (or is) that like for you?
If you currently feel stuck, is there anything that you sense would help?
This journey is hard. So much is unknown and unpredictable. Please take good care of yourself.
And please feel free to reach out here anytime. You are not alone.
Consider making a comment. Perhaps answer one of the questions above. This not only helps you, but all those who are reading this today. Thank you!
Need a book for yourself or someone else? Check out Gary’s Book Page.
We lost our daughter one year ago in December 2020. I lost my mother in 2019. Then my husband had a major stroke. Thankfully he survived but has lost his ability to speak or comprehend when you speak for the most part. All of this has shaken me up so much that fir several weeks after coming home with my husband after a month in the hospital from icu to therapy.. I was almost perilised by fear that something would happen and he would pass. It was a sense of being abandoned. I have so much to deal with taking care of my husband that it had seemed to put the grief of loss for our daughter in the back ground. But her loss hit me like a brick tge other days the loss was very accute. I feel such loss with my husband with the fact that we cannot communicate as you would normally share your burdens. If I didn’t have hope in Jesus never leaving us I would truly be a basket case. This article was a very good read for me today thank you for putting this information out for people. We all need support in these days. RENA
The world leaves those who have lost part of their heart..Their lives go back.to normal an we are left ALONE to figure it all out.The things they tell us on how to move on MAKES NO SENSE.!It’s like throwing us out in the middle of the ocean and then saying ” Here , bake a cake an see u at lunch time!!! ..What???? .we look all around for help for something to hold on to , something that stops the pain , The fear , an its no where to be found..an we swim..Alone.trying to figure it all out..we pray. We beg for guidance, every day a struggle .Friends?Family? All dissappeared…GONE! and all I can hear are my Husband’s words from his death bed..BABE YOU NEED TO BECOME “”SELF SUFFICIENT ” SELF SUFFICIENT, SELF SUFFICIENT….Those words haunt me but he’s so so right ..I need to become..SELF SUFFICIENT..Lord JESUS help us all thru this journey of grief…AMEN.
My husband died a year ago tomorrow- he had been ill with bladder cancer for over a year & nursed in bed for many months. He was, like yourself, a chaplain & psychotherapist- & the most wonderful man loved by everyone he met.
He sadly never came to terms with dying & even to the end believed he would survive
I’m so grateful to you that I found your books & in times of stress and heartbreak I find reading them calms me. As a nurse I can say that I would not wish my journey on anyone else but I am grateful to have your book to enable me to know what I am experiencing is normal I miss him so very much
I have been stuck for 2+ years since my son took his life 8/5/2019, one day before my birthday. Never thought he would do that. We were close. Feel guilty that he didn’t reach out to me. Just lost my favorite brother on January 11th to covid. Ugh! Experience anxiety with shortness of breath at times, stomach upset, tinnitus, no joy in life anymore. Lost job due to covid. Don’t have the “push” to get another job. Marriage is like roommates for a long time even before all the tragedy.
This article is very relatable.