I live in south-central Texas. Right now, it’s a mess. We’re freezing.
It hardly ever gets below freezing here. Shoot, I have two palm trees in my backyard. Over the last five days, we’ve had single digit temps with sub-zero wind chills.
Where you live, this might be the usual fare for this time of year. For us down here, this is unheard of.
You’ve probably heard of our power grid failures. As much as 80% of my county has been without power. Many have been without heat for days. Many do not have water either. Communities have set up “warming stations” where people can go (if they can get there) and escape the cold and darkness for a little while.
This could be the worst winter storm in Texas history – and it’s reminded me of the grief process.
The Storm We Weren’t Prepared For
See if the following statements remind you of parts of your grief journey…
This situation has never happened before. We didn’t expect this. We weren’t prepared. Intensity of the storm stunned us.
Things we counted we counted on failed – things that we had no control over. We were thrust into an unwanted, unwelcome, and difficult (even dangerous) situation.
We’re dealing with this unexpected, harsh reality as best we can. Our usual routines are gone. For many, life has become about survival.
We’re finding ways to communicate with those around us who are experiencing the same thing. We listen, attempt to encourage one another, and help each other as we can.
We get no assurances about when power will be restored. We do what we can, with our focus being to take care of ourselves and each other. We wait expectantly for warmer weather. We know this will not last forever.
Have you experienced any of these things in your grief journey? If so, feel free to share. Reply to this email. Vent. Ask questions. We all need to express how we’re doing and what’s happening inside us.
The Ongoing Grief Storm
Losing someone we love – and loss in general – can create a harsh, even debilitating storm. Unlike the current upheaval in Texas, our grief storms last far longer than a week.
Though our personal grief storms are all different, we’re in this together. You are not alone, though many times I know it feels that way.
Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself and those around you. Do what you can to take good care of yourself. We need each other. We need you.
P.S. On a much lighter note, I have a new book coming out in a few weeks. Stay tuned for more info soon.
I think associating the storm with grief is a great way to deal with both. I live in Minnesota so cold and snow are prevalent here. I really could associate with your connection of the storm to grief. I lost my husband of 51 years to lung cancer a year ago. I still have many hard days. He was a wonderful husband and I miss him terribly. My heart and head are in constant conflict. I guess I really thought I would be handling these changes better by now. It has been over a year.
Hi Kathy. Thanks for sharing. I’m so sorry about your husband. Of course you miss him – all the time every day, I imagine. For many, the 2nd year comes with new and different challenges. The grief changes over time, and most of us don’t make the “progress” we would expect. Please be patient with yourself and take your time. Do what you know to do to grieve in healthy ways, and over time this will have a real and healing impact. Please feel free to reach out here anytime. Blessings…
I wanted to see if I could speak to you about following thru and taking the next step to getting certified and credentials to do grief /trauma counseling. I am a single parent of 7 in Mississippi. I am eager to hear your advice on where & how to best do this. Thanks! My contact #is 6019372637
Hi Melissa. Sorry for the delay. I am way behind! A single parent of 7??? Wow. You have a full plate indeed. Please feel free to email me at contact@garyroe.com. Blessings to you…
This is a comforting article, lets us know we are not alone in our grief and how grief can blindside you. Thank you for your comforting words. God bless and keep you.
Thank you, Julie. Blessings to you, too!
I look forward to your new book!
I appreciate your emails and books so much.
My loss wasn’t the death of a person, but of my happily ever after.
My life is much better without that poisonous person. I just still hit times of deep mourning, often when I don’t expect it. But Jesus, our Counselor and Prince of Peace, comforts and heals us faithfully.
Thanks again Gary!
Hi Andrea. Thanks for sharing this – and for your encouragement. Yes, grief sneaks up on us sometimes. And you’re right – we have One who is always with us, loving us, leading us, and caring for us. He knows all about rejection, pain, grief, and suffering. What an amazing grief companion He is. Blessings…
Thank you, Gary. As always, your insight is spot on. I appreciate all you do and bring to our attention. God bless you!
Thank you, Cheri. Blessings back to you…
Thank you very much for encouraging words in the midst of your weather phenomenon and struggle. Prayers for all of you.
Hi Shari. Thank you! Hope you are doing well…