When loss strikes, our hearts shake. Our souls tremble. The world will never be the same.
The following post is geared toward those of you who have lost life partners, adapted from the newly released Comfort for the Grieving Spouse’s Heart. The shaking of the heart, however, applies to all of us.
FROM THE GRIEVING HEART:
I don’t know where to start.
My love, my mate, my partner is gone.
I don’t know what to think or how to feel. It’s like I’ve been hit by a brick.
I’m stunned. Dazed. How did this happen? How could it? Why?
My mind is spinning. I want to scream. I open my mouth, but nothing comes. No, this cannot be.
Where are you? Where did you go? My heart is shaking. The world has changed.
Love is powerful. We’re wired for connection and relationship. We’re designed to love and be loved. No wonder the loss of a spouse is difficult to understand, let alone experience.
When a mate leaves, dies, or is taken from us, our minds alternately spin and then freeze. Our hearts tremble. Our bodies can be immobilized by the shock. We’re stunned. We blink and wonder what happened, how, and why.
It feels as though the world has changed because it has. Our world has been altered forever. Someone we love desperately is missing.
Even if we’ve had other losses, this one is different. This loss affects everything. We gasp and breathe. And then we breathe again and again. Slowly. Deeply.
Affirmation: I’m stunned. Dazed. I must breathe…
Adapted from the newly released Comfort for the Grieving Spouse’s Heart: Hope and Healing After Losing Your Partner.
Question: Is your heart shaking today? Feel free to comment and share what’s happening inside. We’re in this together.
Additional Recommended Resources:
10 Spiritual Truths about Loss and Healing – Belief Net
5 Tips for Overcoming Worry and Fear – The Parenting Bookmark
3 Tips for Grieving at Work – garyroe.com
My daughter was killed 3 years ago. Her children, my grandchildren were seriously injured. I quit my job and have been raising them. My focus has been helping them 24/7 and I’m afraid the loss won’t hit me completely until they’re grown.
Gail, thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry about your daughter – and all the other collateral damage and issues that have arisen from that one loss. No wonder you feel as you do. Please take care of yourself. That’s the best thing you can do for all those around you. A healthy you is a great gift of love to everyone you know and love. Please feel free to reach out here any time, Gail. You are not alone in this, although I’m sure feel lonely at various times. Praying for you now…
The second year has been the hardest. The first year I was in shock from dealing with my husband’s death from Glioblastoma. I feel like my feet is made of stone. Pushing forward, crying in pain. The loneliness, even when I am with others. Gary, you have helped me so much. Thank you for your encouragement.
HI Jean. Thanks for your kind words and encouragement. Yes, the second year is different – and can be harder in many ways. The loss has settled in, and there is a new sense of finality that comes with that. I’m so sorry. Please be kind to yourself, Jean. And feel free to reach out here anytime.
I wake up everyday with a panic attack that lasts all day
Elaine, I’m so sorry. How awful. Do you have anyone where you are that you can reach out to who can help with this? Most of us need someone like that in our grief process. Please be kind to yourself. And feel free to email me and vent, share, or whatever.
It has been 5 years and I still grieve everyday. Some days are a little better, but then I am hit with a flood of memories and cry for days. And the dreams that are so real, this week he came to me reached for my hand, we sat down an had a conversation, I told him how much I loved him and he was confirming his love for me. Such a precious dream, I could feel his presence.
Hi Betty. Thanks for sharing this. What a wonderful dream. A good gift indeed. I’m so glad for such gifts along this hard, demanding journey. Please be patient with yourself in this. Those grief bursts will come. Memories are a blessing, but right now they can also be a source of pain. Keep letting the grief out. And please feel free to reach out here at any time. Blessings to you, Betty.
What a lovely dream❤️
I agree. I wish we could all have one like that!
My heart trembles all the time. even almost four years later. The sense of disbelief is still there. i HATE the fact that I have not been able to move forward. I think this monster is here to stay.
Hi GM. Thank you for sharing this. That disbelief can be persistent. Our hearts are reluctant to accept reality – we don’t want to. Sometimes that sense of internal trembling can continue to years. I know it did with me. Please feel free to share, vent, or whatever here, or send me an email. This is hard, hard stuff.