Anger is a powerful, often uncomfortable emotion. It can be a large part of grief. How we handle it matters – both for us and those around us.

From the Grieving Heart:

I woke up angry today. 

How dare you leave? How could you do this? I want you back. Now. 

But you’re not coming back, are you? No, of course not. 

How could this happen? Why? I don’t understand.

I’ll never understand.

I don’t like this anger, but sometimes it feels better than sadness. I find myself irritated with everything. My fuse is short. Frustration is bubbling just beneath the surface.

I think I’m going to explode. Maybe that would be better than holding this anger in. I don’t know.

I want to scream and hit something. Maybe I should.

I’m here. You’re not. I’m angry.  

 

Dealing with the anger within

Here are 5 key truths to remember about grief anger.

1. Anger is common in grief.

When someone dies or leaves, our hearts break. Emotions pour out and flood our being. Sadness is one of the most common feelings we experience. Anger is another.

A loved one is gone. We’re stunned, shocked, and sad. We begin to feel the pain. Their absence becomes a cloud that encompasses us no matter where we go.

2. Questions assault our hearts.

Questions begin to surface. How could this happen? Why? Why them? Why us? Why now? Why this way?

3. Heart-settling answers are difficult to find.

Satisfying answers are hard to come by. Anger begins to brew within. We feel robbed and cheated. Perhaps we feel wronged or victimized. Our hearts rail against this loss, this death. We want our loved one back. Now.

4. Love is passionate and powerful.

Loss hits the heart. When we feel attacked, anger is a natural result.

Anger is common when we encounter loss. We love them. They’re gone. Of course, we’re upset. Loss has invaded and stolen someone we care about.

5. Anger will be expressed, one way or another.

The key now is expressing the anger in healthy ways. We could do any or all of the following:

  • Hit a pillow, or scream into it
  • Power walk around, punching the air
  • Knead some dough
  • Smack a punching bag
  • Write in a journal
  • Exercise
  • Vent to someone safe

We can’t afford to let the anger smolder and fester. It will most likely leak out in less than desirable ways. We must find ways to express it as it comes.

We continue to breathe deeply. We give ourselves permission to be angry. Anger is a natural part of grief.

Affirmation: It’s okay if I get angry. I will find healthy ways to express my anger.

Adapted from the 2018 USA Best Book Award Winner, Comfort for Grieving Hearts: Hope and Encouragement for Times of Loss.

Questions: Have you experienced anger in your grief? What have you found helpful in dealing with this powerful emotion?

Additional resources:

Take a Break from Depression in 3 Easy Steps – Thrive Global

The Good Grief Mini-Course (free email series)

0 Shares

Get My Free Ebook

You will also receive Gary’s monthly newsletter and other updates. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Thank you! Check your email for a link to download your free ebook.

Get My Free Ebook

You will also receive Gary’s monthly newsletter and other updates. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Thank you! Check your email for a link to download your free ebook.

Get My Free Ebook

You will also receive Gary’s monthly newsletter and other updates. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Thank you! Check your email for a link to download your free ebook.

Get My Free Good Grief Mini-Course

You will also receive Gary’s monthly newsletter and other updates. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Thank you! Check your email for instructions for accessing your mini-course.

Download A Free Excerpt

You will also receive Gary’s monthly newsletter and other updates. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Thank you! Check your email for a link to download your free ebook.

Free Excerpt

You will also receive Gary’s monthly newsletter and other updates. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Thank you! Check your email for a link to download your free ebook.

Download A Free Excerpt

You will also receive Gary’s monthly newsletter and other updates. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Thank you! Check your email for a link to download your free ebook.

Download A Free Excerpt

You will also receive Gary’s monthly newsletter and other updates. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Thank you! Check your email for a link to download your free ebook.

Get My FreePDF:

8 Tips for Handling Grief and the Holidays

You will also receive Gary’s monthly newsletter and other updates. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Thank you! Check your email for a link to download your free ebook.

Get My Free Ebook

GRIEF: 9 Things I Wish I Had Known

 

You will also be added to Gary's Insider Group allowing you to receive regular updates on healing from loss.

 

You can unsubscribe at any time.

Thank you! Check your email for a link to download your free ebook.

Get My Free Ebook

GRIEF: 9 Things I Wish I Had Known

 

You will also be added to Gary's Insider Group allowing you to receive regular updates on healing from loss.

 

You can unsubscribe at any time.

Thank you! Check your email for a link to download your free ebook.

Read a Free Excerpt

 

Enter your email in the form, and a free excerpt from Gary's Grief Walk book will be sent to your inbox. You will also be added to Gary's Insider Group allowing you to receive his weekly updates on healing from loss. You'll know what he's writing currently, get first glimpses of new books, and be presented with opportunities to make a difference for other grieving hearts.

Please check your inbox for an email from Gary.

Get My Free Ebook

GRIEF: 9 Things I Wish I Had Known

 

You will also be added to Gary's Insider Group allowing you to receive regular updates on healing from loss.

 

You can unsubscribe at any time.

Thank you! Check your email for a link to download your free ebook.