Grieving hearts need five things to survive, grieve, and live again:
- We need comfort.
- We need safety.
- We need hope.
- We need healing.
- We need each other.
First of all, comfort.
Loss is painful. Separation hurts. Oblivious to our suffering, the world around us speeds on as if nothing happened. Stunned, shocked, sad, confused, and angry, we blink in disbelief. The pain can be immense.
We long for comfort. We look for it. Grieving hearts need it to survive. That’s why I wrote Comfort for Grieving Hearts: Hope and Encouragement for Times of Loss.
In my own grief, I have been comforted by the compassion and kindness of others. Over the decades as a missionary and pastor, and now as a hospice chaplain and grief counselor, I’ve had the honor of walking with thousands of grieving souls through the valley of loss, offering what comfort I can along the way. This is how comfort works. We comfort others with the comfort we ourselves have received.
Let’s be honest. We don’t need another book full of lengthy chapters, heady language, and shallow pieces of advice. What we need are companions – people like us. We need other hurting, grieving hearts who understand and will walk with us. This help us feel safe and gives us hope.
I’ve created one of those traveling companions in the pages of this book. I’ve called this new friend the Grieving Heart. Each chapter begins with the Grieving Heart speaking, sharing what it is feeling, thinking, and going through. Your heart will be touched. You’ll know someone “gets it.” As one reviewer has said, “Readers will see themselves on every page.”
My goal is to meet you in your pain and walk with you there. As we journey together, our hearts will somehow begin to feel understood and safe. And as we experience a sense of safety, our hope will rise, and we will begin to heal.
Let me be clear – I do not have all this figured out. I am a fellow struggler with you. Daily I deal with the repercussions and effects of the deep and traumatic losses I’ve experienced. I heal by putting my grief to work and serving others. This book is part of that.
We need comfort. We need safety, hope, and healing. We need companions. We need each other.
We’re in this together. Though grief can be terribly lonely, we weren’t meant to navigate the valley of loss alone. Take your heart seriously. Read on. Lean into the comfort, safety, hope, and healing in the pages ahead.
Adapted from the introduction to Comfort for Grieving Hearts.
Question: When you think of these 5 things – comfort, safety, hope, healing, and good grief companions – which one do you sense you need the most right now?
Additional Resource: We’re not typically patient with ourselves when it comes to grief. We need to be kind to ourselves. Please check out my article on HitchedMag, 5 Reasons Loss Hurts and What You Can Do About It. You will get through this.
Good Grief Companions. I am completely alone and everyone I reach out to is…I’ll just say NOT a good grief companion. Some people are kind. some smile and say they care, but when I need someone – no one is there and no one calls, comes by or answers my calls. I’ve sort of come to the place where I say – OK, God so you seem to not want me to have people in my life that I can relate to – or people at all for that matter. OK. I’ll stop trying then. I’ve reached out and got out in church and tried to establish friendships or even just connections – in hopes that You would guide me to the people you want me to touch or be touched by. I give up. Some people are just alone all their lives – seems that’s what you want for me. It hurts. Why do you hurt me? I trust you. It is my ‘affliction’ then. I am trying to trust and love you in spite of having no people – no companions. I’m trying. Sometimes it’s just too much to bear. Online and book words of comfort are helpful, but having no people in my life is devastating.
Hi Connie. Thank you for sharing. You’re right. We all need good grief companions. And when we don’t have them – well – life seems that much more empty, frustrating, and lonely. I’m so sorry. It sounds like you’re reached out and pushed yourself – in a good way – to get connected and find the support you want and need, but to no avail. Ugh. How frustrating indeed. You’ve probably already checked, but are there any grief support groups in your area? GriefShare, etc.? Usually local hospices have some groups going. I can only imagine how frustrating and anger-producing this has been for you. Again, I’m so sorry.
I need healing and good grief companions, someone to understand and give me comfort. I am still in deep pain.
Hi Gayleen. Yes, those people can be hard to find sometimes. I know you’ve been trudging this road for a while now, and I really hoped someone would come alongside and support you in this. I’ll keep praying that God brings those people – or person – into your life. Please stay connected and feel free to share here any time. Blessings…