Grief often gets physical.
“I have headaches. My back hurts. My stomach bothers me almost every day. I have dizzy spells. I think my body is falling apart,” Shirley shared.
Seemingly out of the blue, Shirley’s daughter Corinne was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer. The treatment was severe enough that Corrine finally opted to go on hospice care. After six months with a good quality of life, Corinne died at home surrounded by her husband, her two daughters, and the rest of her loving family. She was 44.
“After Corinne’s death, I’ve been getting hit with one thing after another. I had tests done. Nothing. Then I wondered, could this be grief?” Shirley asked.
When grief gets physical
Many people experience new, exacerbated, or strange physical symptoms following the death of a loved one. When grief hits, it smacks our bodies too.
Grief is form of stress. As such, it naturally taxes our immune system and causes our bodies to work harder to maintain health. In the short term, we might be able to manage without too much distress. Over the long haul, however, grief can wear us down. All kinds of health issues can surface.
We can experience headaches, muscle aches, tightness in the chest, and neck pain. Some report chest pain, palpitations, or rapid heartbeat. Others complain of stomach pain, intestinal distress, bowel changes, heartburn, or nausea. Many experience air hunger (the feeling of not being able to get enough air), frequent colds, or persistent respiratory infections. The list goes on and on.
Our immune systems are suppressed. Our bodies are feeling our distress. We are more vulnerable physically.
Grief is not an illness like the common cold, where we can expect to recover and be as good as new in a few days. Grief is more like an extended battle or a demanding marathon. We must learn to pace ourselves and appreciate that our entire system is under duress.
Weathering this physically challenging storm is a long-term adventure. Taking ourselves and our bodies seriously is a key to grieving in a healing and healthy way.
The death of a loved one affects our whole person. Experiencing some grief-related physical symptoms is natural and common.
“I miss you so much it hurts, literally. Grief pounds me, body and soul.”
Some important reminders:
These almost go without saying, but making sure the following three things are in place in your life can make a radical difference in your ability to weather the grieving process well.
- Good nutrition (eating healthy and hydrating well)
- Adequate sleep (since grief is exhausting, you might need more than usual)
- Regular exercise (burns off emotion, releases endorphins, and bolsters the immune system)
Taking good care of yourself is one powerful way to love your loved one and honor his or her memory.
Adapted from the newly released bestseller, Shattered: Surviving the Loss of a Child. You can watch the Shattered videos here: Gary, Michelle
Photo Credit: ©photodune.net
I lost my Mom in January . She had pulmonary fibrosis caused by her heart medicine . I was holding her hand and talking to her when she took her last breath. I held her after she died yet I still can’t believe it . I was very close to my Mom and we spent a lot of time together . She was 82 . I’m lost without her and panic when I see reminders of her .
Two weeks ago my daughter moved 3000 miles away . We too were very close . My son lives in Chicago 1000 miles away Since she left I don’t want to get out of bed , eat or do anything . I’m on FMLA from work . I’m just so distraught I often don’t want to go on ..,, I miss them beyond words .
HI Karen. I’m so sorry about your mom. What a huge loss. I’m so glad you were there. And yes, the anxiety can be deep and tough. And with your daughter moving away, this makes things even more challenging. Another huge loss. Massive. No wonder you’re feeling as you are. Do you have anyone you can share freely with, without fear of judgment? Please feel free to email or share here. You are not alone, Karen – though I know it feels that way much of the time perhaps. I’m so sorry.
I lost my 29 year old daughter to domestic homicide march 1 2017
We were always very close, like best friends we were also business partners
It’s been 13 months and my grief is as deep and painful as the day she was taken from this world
I suffer from chest pain, shortness of breath, headaches, panic attacks and insomnia. I gained 50 lbs in only 6 months and a general brain fog comes over me when I try to concentrate
Some days I cope, others I can’t manage simple tasks
Her death was messy and I still have a trial to deal with
I live in a very isolated area with limited mental health options
I can’t seem to find a grief group that I can identify with like MOMs etc
I am not religious but very spiritual
I am afraid and think I’ve lost trust in people thus very uncomfortable in public settings
Time has somehow shifted into distance if that makes any sense
Thank you for the space here
And to all who’ve loved a love one I am deeply sorry
Peace to All
Hi Pamela. Thank you for sharing this with us. I can’t imagine. I’m so sorry. How awful, traumatic, and complicated. No wonder you’re feeling as you are. And no wonder you’ve having all these symptoms. Please get them checked out if you get concerned, just to make sure. Yes, after something like this, your “trust meter” would be pretty well destroyed. Please feel free to share here any time. You are not alone. You will make it through this. One moment at a time. Blessings to you, Pamela.
My mother just passed away last month and my father died one year ago this month. This is a one-two punch for me. We struggled for years to get along. Both of my parents were self-absorbed and very immature emotionally, ignored my brother and I, covered up child abuse … while putting up a façade for the outside world as the ‘perfect family’. I fought hard at the end to try and be close to them and maintain the illusion they insisted on, but it was at great cost to my health. In my case it has been GREIF + PTSD from abuse. But grief is the 800-pound gorilla. Last night my blood pressure and heart rate were out of control and I am on losartan. Her memorial service is next week. I won’t be going for fear of a heart attack. I want to live to see my grandchildren.
Hi Bret. Thank you for sharing this with me. I’m so sorry. Yes, with trauma like that back there, these losses are complicated. There are so many facets to each loss. No wonder you feel as you do. And yes, grief and PTSD make a powerful combo – and they affect us greatly physically. Please be patient with yourself in this, and continue to do what you sense is best for you. Do you have someone where you are that is safe for you – someone you can talk to and share freely with? You need someone like that – we all do. Please feel free to reach out to me via email – vent, share, or whatever. Again, I’m so sorry. This can be so deep and painful.
I lost my son on February 21, 2018 to suicide. I’ve had hallucinations of seeing smoke that is not there. I have lost sixteen pounds im the last month. I am so tired all of the time. I want to feel better. I am now on zoloft but feel like I am going through the motions of life. I dont enjoy the taste of anything and feel guilt when I do try to eat. My son seemed like he was doing so well. He had just started a new job. How do you pick up the pieces and move on?
Hi Kelly. Oh no. I’m so sorry. No wonder you feel as you do. Suicide is so traumatic and devastating – for many reasons. So many questions. So few answers. Yes, for a while we go through the motions. We’re in a daze, a fog. We’re in some other universe, looking into the world we were once a part of. And we miss them so much. We do want to feel better, don’t we? Do you have anyone there you can talk freely with – someone who will listen without fear of judgment? And have you heard of the Compassionate Friends or the Bereaved Parents USA? Both are great organizations for those who have lost children – no matter how or what age. Please be very patient with yourself. This is HARD – and that’s a gross understatement. And please feel free to reach out here any time. Again, I’m so sorry, Kelly.
Hi,
I recently lost my dad on 1st of February, we were very closed. He was diagnosed with cancer in August 2016 and after his treatmant finished in Feb 2017 he was perfectly fine. Since last year november he started to feel bad again and was going to all kind of doctors to find out what is wrong. He was telling me he is fine and he will be healthy again, but on 1st of February before finishing work my mum called me telling me his heart failed and the doctora were home for more than 1h trying to bring him back. It seems that the cancer took over all his body but he didn’t let me know, he hide it from me pretending everything is ok. He was my best friend and I cannot see my life without him, it’s hurting so much. My friends and my boyfriend are trying to help me with everything I need but I am still feeling lonely. Sometimes I even wish to go where he is because I do not see any meaning amymore in life. I am a ballerina and yes it helps me so much when I am classes dancing and practice because my mind is set on doing everything right there, but after I finish my courses and go back home I always start to cry and scream because I am thinking at my dad who was always home after my classes and I was always sharing with him how was it etc. Since one or 2 weeks ago I started to have heart pains when I am thinking at him and I am crying. I do not know how to deal with this grief and it seems it’s getting worse and worse with every day. I apologize for my long comment but I felt the need to writte down what I am going through and if it’s someone who can help with some advice.
Hi Gia. Thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry about your dad. What a massive loss. And of course it hit you hard. Often for a daughter, the loss of a dad feels like the loss of safety, security and stability. All of a sudden, the world feels like an uncertain and unsafe place – like you’re drifting without an anchor. This is HARD. Do you have someone you can share freely with, without fear of judgment? You need at least one person like that. Are there any grief support groups in your area? Check with local churches and hospices. Being around others who are going through loss can be very reassuring and healing. And please get those physical symptoms checked out just to make sure nothing big and bad is going on. It’s always best to be on the safe side of these kinds of things. And please feel free to reach out here any time. I’m so sorry. Gia. Blessings to you…
Hi Gary. Thank you for your message. I have my boyfriend with whom I can talk about this, but sometimes I am still feeling lonely and I feel like he does not understand what I am going through and in the end he makes everything about him. I have also have some friends who are just listening to me and are trying to help me out. Unfortunatly in my area there are no such group support or help centers for such cases. But I am feeling so lonely and lost despite the fact that I have people around me whom I can talk with. It feels like half of me has left in the same time with my dad and I cannot be the same without him. Everytime when I had an issue or needed someone to talk with,he was the first one in my mind who could help me.
Hi Gia. Thanks for sharing this, and I can understand that. Nothing and no one can replace a good dad. And yes, even with safe, good people around us, we feel the power and depth of the loss. It’s like we’re alone in some other world, looking into the world that everyone else lives in. Again, I’m so sorry. Please feel free to share any time. Blessings to you…
Hey. I’m in the last year of school, so year 11 and February 5th my dad also passed away because of cancer. So I could say I can relate to you in some aspects however people cope with death differently therefore I can’t act like I know how you feel. Sometimes I randomly cry out of no where however I know it’s because of him, it’s like feeling emptiness sort of, inside as if there’s something missing. I hide my feelings away and try not to talk about it but deep down it’s good to. Because keeping it all bottled up can make it worse. Just know it will get easier. The more u maintain your normal life style and get on with your life trying to do things you enjoy it will help the thoughts about your dad. It doesn’t mean your forgetting about him because you won’t ever forget him. But he would want you to not feel sad. Remember he is now in peace. I get annoyed when people say that because he shouldn’t have been ill in the first place however he got ill and my dad suffered for many years and apparently my dads last words were “I just want to sleep”. It upsets me, but it also gives me alittle comfort. His not going through pain because we both don’t know how much pain our dads went through. If you wanna talk more email me on alisak7116@gmail.com
Hi Alisa. Thanks for commenting and responding to Gia. Thanks for caring for others in this way. I’m so sorry about your dad. If we can ever help in any way, please let us know. Blessings to you…
Hello .I also lost my father one month ago .He was my best friend.My mum and i are having sleepless night and 24 hour sick inside feeling that wont go away.Ny solutions please?
Hi Gwen. I’m so sorry about your dad. And I’m so sorry about what you’re experiencing physically. Sleep disturbances and stomach issues, and just general “yuck” feelings, are very, very common in grief, especially in the first couple of months. Please be patient with yourselves in this. And if needed, please consider seeing a doctor to talk about this and see if they have suggestions or temporary solutions to get you through this time. Breathing deeply – in through the nose and out through the mouth – over and over – can be very helpful. The more you practice this kind of breathing, the quicker you’ll be able to put it into practice when needed – and over time, it can make a huge difference. Please feel free to share here any time. Blessings to you and your mum, Gwen.
I lost my mom a month ago. She was 44 years old (I’m 25) and died to a horrible, painful form of breast cancer. She was my closest friend and my emotional rock, and now that’s gone. On top of that, my boyfriend and I are splitting up. This article highlights exactly how I’ve felt the last couple of weeks. I can barely eat (though I am making darn sure I am hydrated), and some nights I barely get any sleep. Throughout the last 1 1/2 months, I’ve dropped nearly 15lbs.
I also find myself being so forgetful lately and having serious problems focusing at work.
I know eventually I will heal, but I feel so hopeless right now. Grief sucks and I’m fighting it on 2 fronts now. :'(
PS: I just started seeing a grief counselor, but I’m not sure if I like her. She was very detached and rigid.
Hi Jaime. I’m so sorry about your mom. And you saw all this over time – and that’s traumatic. Very. No wonder you’re having the symptoms you are. If you’re concerned, please get checked out by a doctor. It’s best to be on the safe side of things – you don’t need any extra weights right now. Do you have someone safe you can share with? And about the grief counselor – if you find you can’t relate well to her, don’t give up. Sometimes finding a good counselor is like trying on a pair of shoes – sometimes we have to try more than one to find a good fit. And please feel free to reach out here any time – ask questions, vent, or whatever. You are not alone, Jaime. Blessings to you…
My daughter was 19 years old she died July 25 2018 . She would have 20 this last October. Ever since she died I am a trainwreck. I had her when I was 19 almost 20 and our birthdays we’re 29 days apart. She’s all I have ever known in my adult life. I am struggling to live after she’s gone. I have good days and then I have traumatic days. She died suddenly she had the flu and she said she was feeling better and then bam I was on the phone with 911 giving my daughter CPR and begging her to stay. I was a single parent with her for yrs and I finally allowed myself to include a man and his two boys into our life and we were so happy. Now I am struggling to continue this life because I feel so much loss. I have stomach issues almost weekly and anxiety or panic attacks . It got so bad at Christmas I left carts of stuff and walked out and had to sit in the car because I was so uncomfortable with the crowds and I would burst into tears. I felt like I was being suffocated. I get headaches and mood swings and upper chest pains. My blood pressure spikes for no reason and then plummets back to normal. I had a doctor tell me it’s all mental. It’s crazy how much grief can affect you physically. I feel so broken and lost.
Hi Kimberly. Oh no. I’m so sorry. What a huge, sudden, and unexpected loss. Your love for her is so clear in your words. I’m sure you feel shattered. I guess there really are no words for such things. And you have all the mental pictures of her passing in your mind too. How traumatic. And yes, loss like this affects everything – especially the other relationships in our lives. It sounds like you’ve been through so much in the last 8 months or so. Do you have someone you can share with, Kimberly – share freely and without fear or judgment? Also, have you heard of the Compassionate Friends or the Bereaved Parents USA. Both groups are for those who have lost children, no matter how or what age. They are great groups, and they have people everywhere. Being in contact with others who have endured similar losses can be comforting and healing in so many ways. Please don’t try to go this alone. And please feel free to reach out here – write, vent, share, whatever. Again, I’m so sorry, Kimberly.
this explains a lot. a year ago today I lost my mom at age 58, and im only just 19 this year. I wondered why I just feel so… off.. headaches, nausea, all of this explains why I feel like such a mess.and I can’t be with family either, as I go to school.oht of state…
does this tend to go away as the years go on or still hurt just the same ?
Hi Kim. Thanks for sharing. I’m so sorry about your mom. Ugh. What a huge loss. And no wonder you’re experiencing what you are. And yes, for most people, these things get better with time as we process the grief and find ways to express it. Whatever you do, please don’t try to do this alone. Find someone, or several someones, who will listen and walk with you through this somehow. And of course you can feel free to email me or share here any time. I’m here to help. Again, I’m so sorry. Please be patient with yourself.
I lost my son January 5th of this year, about 3 days later I had intense pains in my left knee and right ankle,x rays and bloodwork showed nothing. After the doctor called me, I realized all I needed to do was to tell someone who didn’t know me,someone objective. I have since begun to feel better physically, I began to care for myself. I know how that sounds, I have a family of remaining kids and people know me as being selfless and loving my remaining family unconditionally as I always did before. The thing that’s changed is I’ve given me time. To heal.
Hi Catherine. I’m so sorry about your son. Ugh. How awful. And no wonder you had the reaction you did. I’m so proud of you for sharing, talking, and processing this grief. Yes…give yourself time. If there’s anything I can do, please let me know. Please be patient with yourself. You’re worth it!
Hi Kim I feel exactly the same I lost my mum 6 months ago to kidney cancer. I feel so ill body hurts all over, exhausted all the time, headaches, tummy problems. I went to the doctors and she said it’s out bodies way of coping but for how long! Xxxxx
HI Melissa. Thank you for sharing, and for supporting Kim. I’m so sorry about your mum. Yes, we wonder, “How long…” As we process the grief, hopefully things change over time. Time by itself doesn’t heal all wounds, but healing does take time. Blessings to you…
Hi, Firstly I’m saddened to hear just how much grief can affect the human body and I feel for everyone.
I lost my mum to cancer Sept 17. She was a feisty strong woman and was never in pain or cried. Her death was unexpected and so sudden. She was fine one minute and within 6 hours she had gone! It was a total shock and we hadn’t been told to plan for it, quire the opposite really as she was due to start chemo again in 2 days time.
Although we are relieved she never suffered we cannot figure it all out!
Since mums passing (nearly 6 months) I’ve had 6 colds and I suffer flare ups of my fybromyalgia more often. I’m always tired but can’t sleep at night, I am totally caffeine free and have been for years. I do smoke. I eat healthily but I do consume alcohol.
I need to get my mind and body back on track for my kids, family and work but don’t see how when I feel so ill all the time.
Hi Paula. I’m so sorry about your mum. Goodness. So sudden and quick. Did you get a chance for any closure? Was she conscious during those 6 hours? No wonder you can’t figure it all out. We stymied by such things. Lots of questions, and not many answers. I’m proud of you for wanting to pilot through this in healthy ways. I’m confident you’ll make the decisions that are good for you and those around you. And yes, the physical things you mentioned are quite common – and I have no doubt that this loss is contributing to them in many ways. Please be patient with yourself and take one step at a time. And please feel free to share here any time. Blessings…
Hi Paula. I lost my Dad September 62013.We spoke on the phone as he lived 300 miles away the day he died. He was unaware he was full of cancer and off to work he went. He died 5pm that day. My Nan died August 2016 I was with her when she died.Said goodbye to my nan but did not get a chance to say goodbye to my dad. Time does heal I assure all.
Hi Jamie. Thanks for sharing. And thank you for caring for others. I’m so sorry about your Dad and your Nan. Thank you for taking your heart seriously and grieving well. Please feel free to comment any time. Blessings to you…
My girlfriend died just this week… I honestly have no clue what to do anymore. Everyone around me doesn’t even seem to care, my “friend” actually jokingly told me she talked to her over a Ouija board last night.. I keep having a lot of chest pains, they’re almost crippling but other than that I’m quite numb.. I don’t know what to do, please help:(
Hi Chloe. Oh no. I’m so sorry. Don’t mess around with chest pain. I would get that checked out, just to make sure. And no wonder you’re numb. Please find someone safe that you can share freely with – someone who will meet you in your grief and listen well. No matter how it feels, you are not alone. There are many people hurting and grieving. And please feel free to reach out here any time. But please, get those chest pains checked out. Thanks for sharing, Chloe.
I feel for all of you. Currently I’m grieving for the loss of my best friend and father of my children. We separated a long time ago but I have always adored him. He struggled with bipolar disorder and took his own life in July last year. We tried to get him help but his medical team wouldn’t listen to us except to send out a doctor to his home the next day and still they refused to admittance to hospital. Two hours later he jumped from the fifth floor of his apartment. The loss I feel not only for myself but my two children (who worshipped their father) is beyond words. I am now experiencing many health problems. I’ve had spikes in blood pressure, heart palpitations, fatigue, digestion problems and now vertigo. I am a mess.
Hi Jess. I’m so sorry. What a tragic, sad loss. No wonder you’re experiencing these symptoms. Please get things checked out just to make sure. Please be patient with yourself in this process. This is a complicated, sudden, and traumatic loss. Do you have someone you can share freely with, without fear of judgment? You need someone, or several someones, like that. And please feel free to let me know how it goes and if I can help in any way. Blessings to you, Jess.
I lost one of my best friends a year ago today. She was diagnosed with cancer and passed 5 weeks later. We were only 1 year apart and she was my go to person for career, love, family advice. We were both single, never married, no kids, loved to travel. I’ve been doing everything I can to get over the grief or at least help me through it, excercise, talking about it, crying it out, going to church, I even saw a grief counselor. I can have a REALLY great day where I feel normal and happy and then the next day an emotional wreck. I’ve been having pains in my abdomen, neck, arm and have had MRI’s, cat scans, numerous dr appts and nothing helps. Could my pains be from grief still a year later?
Hi Christie. Thanks for sharing. I’m so sorry about your friend. Goodness. What a huge loss for you. Grief can manifest itself physically at any time – so yes, part of what you’re experiencing physically could be grief. It’s hard to know. I’m glad you got things checked out. I know you know this – but keep processing your grief any way you can. The more you process it and “get it out” the less stress your body has to shoulder and deal with. This is a hard, tough road. And keep getting medical advice when you get concerned. And please feel free to share here any time. Blessings to you, Christie.
My dad was my person. He died January 17, 2017. When he was sick in the hospital I suffered from what I believe is stress induced vertigo. I experienced it again 2 weeks before his celebration of life a few months later. My doctor could not find a source for my vertigo. My dog, which my dad loved so dearly, got sick in October. I was worried he would die as well. It was then that I became numb to the world around me. I was diagnosed with derealization depersonalization disorder. It only lasted a couple weeks. My dog is alive and fine now. Now it has been 13 months since my dad passed. I have experienced a horrible 10 day tension headache followed by chest pains. Now it seems like a mild case of vertigo has started up again. I have done the talk therapy and am on anxiety medication. Could these new symptoms actually still be symptoms of my grief? How do I make this stop? Any advice from anyone would be of great help.
Hi Lisa. I’m so sorry about your dad. Dads and daughters can have such a deep connection – and yours was apparently very, very deep. And yes, this could still be grief. It can manifest itself in all kinds of weird ways, at any time. And the fact that you have experienced symptoms similar before, and they seemed grief related, kind of points that direction. Anything you can do to process your dad’s loss – journaling, talking, exercising, etc – will help over time. And please get checked out by a doctor if you’re concerned or distressed. If you haven’t already, you might want to see if there are any grief support groups in your area – check hospices and churches for options. And please feel free to reach out here any time. We’re here to help and do what we can. Again, I’m so sorry. Thank you for sharing with us.
My brother, exactly 2 years older than me, died 1/25/2018. He was only 58 and it was a quick progression from being diagnosed with lung cancer to his death. Exactly 2 months from onset to death. I feel like I have been kicked in the chest. I have cried but it seems that it comes in waves. I don’t feel like I have been grieving properly. I skipped denial stage by being beside him as he took his last breath. I’ve been strong for my mom. How do I “get it out” so I can move forward?
HI Annette. Thanks for sharing with us. I’m so sorry about your brother. Ugh. The loss of a sibling hits in ways other losses do not. No wonder you felt as you did and are feeling as you are now. This is a big, huge loss. Don’t concern yourself with stages – we go in and out of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (and other things) on a regular basis, back and forth and up and down. I like how you said, “get it out.” Yes. Anything you can do to process your grief will help in the long run – writing, drawing, talking, sharing, support groups, grief counseling, etc. Not that you have to do all these things, but just whatever is helpful to you. Also, please be patient with yourself. For most of us, this grief road is longer than we anticipated. It is unpredictable, exhausting, and confusing. The important thing is finding some people who know grief and get around them as you can. And please feel free to share here any time. Again, I’m so sorry, Annette.
My cat died and she was only 9. I got home from school to find she had gone peacefully in her favorite chair. We were extremely close. I miss doing the little things like having her sit on my lap or kissing her little head. I’m shaky and my heart feels clenched.
Hi Gage. Oh no. I’m so sorry. I am a cat person too. What a huge loss this is. No wonder you feel as you do. Please feel free to cry, talk, draw, or write – whatever would help in talking about your cat, what you miss, and how much this hurts. It’s a way to say how much you loved her. Your grief and pain says how special she was. I’m so sorry, Gage.
On Christmas day my 23 year old “brother” passed away. He was born with congenital heart disease, living on overtime as doctors could not give him the new heart he needed as of ca two years before. Towards the end he had so many health issues. Some were cancer, blood infection, kidney issues, blood cloths, speech imparement from a stroke, and oxygen decrease. He died at at home as he wished, with his family and a cousin present, in the same bed he was born in. I live in Sweden. He lived in North Carolina. I was able to go to the memorial and a dinner for family and friends. This month I lived with his family for a few days before visiting my parents. The morning after I arrived I had to switch rooms with my “sister.” I could not sleep in his bed. I had nightmare, woke up, feel asleep at once, nightmare and so on all night. Sitting in my apartment with the tv on, and my cat being cute, after a good week back at work after my vacation, I am so tired and shed a few tears. I received a shirt and bandana that were picked out for me by his family. They belonged to him. I learned through my therapist that I had already started grieving as I found out about the deadly cancer. At the end it was another, this time major, stroke that took his life. I miss Hunter so much, and it was even harder this trip as I was living with another friend’s family for my emergency trip. God is great! I remember that, and truck on.
Hi Kristina. Thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry about Hunter. It sounds like he had a long, tough health journey. Ugh. And thank you for your love and care for him – it is clear and obvious. Grief is a strange and unpredictable thing. Please be kind to yourself and patient with yourself in this. And please feel free to share here any time. Blessings to you, Kristina. And yes, God is great – and knowing Him makes all the difference.
Thank you so much! Today is a tough day. I had a meeting at the unemployment office. I met my other, specialized counselor, who will be helping me at work so my off days won’t be so hard. I got nervous first in the waiting room. I am very positive to this, and my bosses/friends want that help for me, that they do not know how to give me. I started crying at the meeting. The unemployment office has given me so much **** in the past, that I always worry with them. Today a former coworker came in. She will be doing admin work for ten weeks. Great! She asked what was new with me. I also told her about my two trips to America, and it made me so sad. I just choose not to show it at work due to wanting to be stable for my meeting. Yesterday was tough, too. I miss Hunter so very much! Everything hurts.
Hi Kristina. Yes, work becomes a real challenge when grieving. We’re not who we were, but yet everyone expects the same output in the same way. It’s hard to find the line between being real with others and hunkering down to fulfilling our responsibilities. Whew. I hope something good works out for you in all this – and I’m certain it will. As you process the grief, good things happen naturally along the way. Please keep being kind to yourself.
I lost my brother in 2014, two days before his 46th birthday. He died of liver failure from alcohol. Then in May 2017 my dad died from mesothelioma. Two great guys just gone. I can’t even go into my parents house because it makes me too sad. I can’t handle my mother’s grief on top of my own. She is always sick with something likely from grief. I am lost. Life has become overwhelming. It is so confusing. Feels like there is no point to anything. This is what grief has done to me.
Hi Lulu. Ugh. I’m so sorry. What massive losses. And yes, the grief of others can be all around us, and things can get overwhelming. Yes, it’s confusing, exhausting, and frustrating. Please keep doing whatever you can to process the grief. If you can, find others who know grief and who can support you. Safe people can make all the difference. And please be patient with yourself. Grief is often a long, hard road. Please feel free to reach out and share here any time. Blessings to you, Lulu.
This site has been a godsend today. I learned this morning from her daughter that my dearest older friend is in hospice and not likely to last more than another day. She’s 3000 miles away so I cannot visit her. I was fine before I got the news but within a couple of hours I experienced extreme gastrointestinal distress and weakness. It was hard to imagine her passing had affected me physically, but I couldn’t think of any other reason for the problem. Your site has confirmed the possibility. Thank you.
Hi Molly. Thanks for sharing. I’m so sorry about your friend. Yes, it hits us – hard. Please be kind to yourself. And please feel free to reach out here any time. Blessings to you…