Merry Christmas.

Not all of us feel merry. Perhaps none of us do.

For those in grief, this time will be emotional, hard, and unpredictable. This holiday is uncharted territory. We’ve never been here before, at this particular time and place. This can be unsettling and scary. Many of us are wondering about a lot of things.

In the midst of all the uncertainty of life, loss, and grief, here are three things I believe to be true. I hope they will be comforting to you somehow:

  1. You matter, more than you realize. I believe you are of priceless, eternal value. This is true about you no matter what happened in the past, or what happens in the future.
  2. Your loss matters. You’re missing someone you love. Your world had been upended, perhaps even shattered. That’s a big deal, because your loved one is a big deal.
  3. Your heart matters. Your heart has been hit, hard. Perhaps it’s broken. Take care of your heart. Take care of you. Honor your loved one and grieve. Grieve well.

You’re not alone. You’re not crazy. You will make it.

I’m glad to be on this road with you.

Merry Christmas,

Gary

P.S. Here are some Holiday Affirmations (taken from Surviving the Holidays Without You) that might help:

  • Even in my loss, this holiday can still be good.  I’ll begin by managing my own and others’ expectations.
  • My holidays will be different but they can still be good.
  • I’ll feel alone sometimes.  I need alone time, but I’ll be careful not to isolate myself.
  • If I want to do the holidays well, I must pay attention to my heart.
  • I will watch my “gas tank” carefully.  This holiday I will choose what I’m going to do, when, and with whom.
  • Safe people will help me stay grounded and sane.  I will find and treasure them.
  • I don’t have to leave my loved one behind.  I can be creative and move on with them in new ways.
  • God is with me in my grief.  He is my comfort and healing.

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