Missing someone is painful.
Will the hurt ever end?
“I kept waiting for the pain to stop. Some things got easier with time, some didn’t. Right now, there is this deep, dull ache in the recesses of my heart,” Noel confided.
She paused and looked at her hands in her lap.
“I’ll always miss him. Always,” she said.
Noel’s husband Steve had died almost a year earlier from brain cancer. She’s right. She will always miss him.
Missing someone is painful
The missing can be so painful. The yearning for your loved one can be intense. Perhaps you wonder when all this will be over.
On some level, the ache in your heart will remain. You won’t feel it as much, or as acutely perhaps, but it’ll be there. When the aroma, place, or song triggers a memory, your heart will groan.
But over time, the ache will not only bring longing, but a smile. Thanksgiving for what your loved one and what you had will replace sadness over losing it.
He or she has an always-place in your heart.
Today’s grief affirmation:
“I’ll always miss you, because you have an always-place in my heart.”
“I still miss those I loved who are no longer with me but I find I am grateful for having loved them. The gratitude has finally conquered the loss.” – Rita Mae Brown
But these three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13
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In my experience, the pain never goes away. It is always a dark, thunderous place in your heart of hearts. Each new loss brings its singular pain. That pain joins in the dark thunder. But, over time, with life and living, a veil provides a gauze like cover, allowing us to put one foot in front of the other, to find a new joy in the relationships that survive and grow in our participation. The pain is still there, alive and throbbing. The thin veil gets blown away with memories, smells, sights, people and we feel its thunderous presence yet again. With the same intensity, but not with the same duration or debilitation. Then, the veil blows back into place, and we are once again back in the world. Maybe the sun isn’t as bright, colors as vibrant or sounds as soothing. And, we once more put one foot in front of the other, finding joy in our relationships and our participation.
Hi Linda. Thank you for sharing. So well put too. Thank you. Your comment is a gift to all of us. And you are so right. Thanks again. Blessings to you…
Very well put. After 4 years the memories come out of no where.
It is almost 3 years that my friend George passed away. Early on I realized that God gave me His love for George as I had wanted to say goodbye!!!!!! God used him for a lot of healing and teaching in my life.I am so grateful that he is up in glory so that I will see him one day. I miss him so much. It would have been 19 years.
Hi Caryl. Gratitude. That’s huge. I thank you for your heart. Your love for George is so obvious. Blessings to you, and thank you for sharing.
Hi Caryl. I’m so sorry. We miss them, don’t we? How could we not. Blessings to you…
We lost our 13 year old grandson almost 4 years ago. The loss has been heartbreaking. I liked what Rita Mae Brown said about being grateful and will be looking forward to the time gratitude conquers the loss.
Hi Phyllis. Thanks for sharing. I’m so sorry about your grandson. Yes, it takes time for the heart to heal enough to be grateful. It’s an amazing thing that the heart ever makes that turn, but it does…
We lost our 13 year old grandson almost 4 years ago. The loss has been heartbreaking. I liked what Rita Mae Brown said about being grateful and will be looking forward to the time gratitude conquers the loss.
Hi Phyllis. Thanks for sharing. I’m so sorry about your grandson. Yes, it takes time for the heart to heal enough to be grateful. It’s an amazing thing that the heart ever makes that turn, but it does…
We lost our 13 year old grandson almost 4 years ago. The loss has been heartbreaking. I liked what Rita Mae Brown said about being grateful and will be looking forward to the time gratitude conquers the loss.
Hi Phyllis. Thanks for sharing. I’m so sorry about your grandson. Yes, it takes time for the heart to heal enough to be grateful. It’s an amazing thing that the heart ever makes that turn, but it does…
My birthday just past and I received many cards and calls from family and friends. I am so blessed in many ways but missing him still overwhelms me . Thank you for making it easier to express these feelings without feeling judged.
HI Janet. Yes, the “missing” can be intense, and long. I’m so sorry. I’m glad you have supportive, loving people around you. That makes a huge difference. Please feel free to share any time.
My birthday just past and I received many cards and calls from family and friends. I am so blessed in many ways but missing him still overwhelms me . Thank you for making it easier to express these feelings without feeling judged.
HI Janet. Yes, the “missing” can be intense, and long. I’m so sorry. I’m glad you have supportive, loving people around you. That makes a huge difference. Please feel free to share any time.
My birthday just past and I received many cards and calls from family and friends. I am so blessed in many ways but missing him still overwhelms me . Thank you for making it easier to express these feelings without feeling judged.
HI Janet. Yes, the “missing” can be intense, and long. I’m so sorry. I’m glad you have supportive, loving people around you. That makes a huge difference. Please feel free to share any time.
Still so much pain from memories and photographs. I know others wish I could smile. If I do, it’s not “on purpose”. (Rita Mae Briwn is one of my favorite authors-at least one if her series is)
Thank you for all you do
Hi Barb. Yes, those memories and photos can be, well, challenging – and painful. I’m so sorry. I know this is a long, and lonely road. I wish it weren’t so. If there’s anything I can do for you, please let me know.
Still so much pain from memories and photographs. I know others wish I could smile. If I do, it’s not “on purpose”. (Rita Mae Briwn is one of my favorite authors-at least one if her series is)
Thank you for all you do
Hi Barb. Yes, those memories and photos can be, well, challenging – and painful. I’m so sorry. I know this is a long, and lonely road. I wish it weren’t so. If there’s anything I can do for you, please let me know.
Still so much pain from memories and photographs. I know others wish I could smile. If I do, it’s not “on purpose”. (Rita Mae Briwn is one of my favorite authors-at least one if her series is)
Thank you for all you do
Hi Barb. Yes, those memories and photos can be, well, challenging – and painful. I’m so sorry. I know this is a long, and lonely road. I wish it weren’t so. If there’s anything I can do for you, please let me know.