Pain runs deep. Early scars are powerful, and sink into the darkest recesses of the heart. Catastrophic wounds can throw us into survival mode for a while.
No matter how old the wound, with the right trigger, the pain can become incredibly fresh again.
Grief is like that.
Pain Messes with our Sense of Time
“It all seems so strange. I can still see him in his recliner. I still hear him in the kitchen. I dream about him at night,” Ellen said.
“It’s been eleven months, but it feels like yesterday.”
Death, loss, and trauma mess with our sense of time. For a while, it’s like life is in slow motion. Some people have memory gaps – periods of time during their grief or painful experiences that they don’t remember at all.
It can also seem like everything is happening at once, and life is flowing quickly past while we’re standing still. Dazed, we see this activity but it doesn’t seem to register somehow.
Dazed and Confused
Deep wounds have huge shock value. Everything is different now, including our sense of time. Grief and loss are like some weird alternate universe. The whole experience is surreal.
Time has a different meaning now.
Here’s a new grief affirmation:
“Weren’t you here only a moment ago? You seem so close sometimes.”
Grief messes with our sense of time.
“Grief … Up till this I always had too little time. Now there is nothing but time.”
― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed
Adapted from Heartbroken (Amazon Bestseller, USA Best Book Award Finalist, National Indie Excellence Book Award Finalist).
Photo Credit: ©photodune.net
iIt’s only been a year since Our youngest son, Steven died at age 29. His passing was unexpected, but The Lord has been so gracious and we are beginning to have more good days than bad. I have not had too many times so far that something has triggered the feeling of grief being fresh again. The few times that this happened, it has caught me by surprise. I feel overwhelmed with sadness but console myself with the thought that I know I can get back to a good place again. This last time the sadness diminished in just a few hours. My other consolation is that I know Steven is in perfect peace and loved more deeply and fully by Jesus than Even I his mother ever could. I’m one year closer to seeing him again. I know that these overwhelming feelings will come from time to time, and I hope that each time I will remember this, it’s not been easy, but with Gods help I know I’ll be okay.
Hi Laura. Thanks so much for sharing. I’m so sorry about Steven. Goodness, what a loss. Your faith is so clear and obvious. The Lord knows, I believe He actually feels what we feel. He’s that close, that concerned, that loving. He walks with you in this valley, as you said. And yes, you will be okay. More than okay. If there’s anything I can do for you, Laura, please let me know. Blessings…
iIt’s only been a year since Our youngest son, Steven died at age 29. His passing was unexpected, but The Lord has been so gracious and we are beginning to have more good days than bad. I have not had too many times so far that something has triggered the feeling of grief being fresh again. The few times that this happened, it has caught me by surprise. I feel overwhelmed with sadness but console myself with the thought that I know I can get back to a good place again. This last time the sadness diminished in just a few hours. My other consolation is that I know Steven is in perfect peace and loved more deeply and fully by Jesus than Even I his mother ever could. I’m one year closer to seeing him again. I know that these overwhelming feelings will come from time to time, and I hope that each time I will remember this, it’s not been easy, but with Gods help I know I’ll be okay.
Hi Laura. Thanks so much for sharing. I’m so sorry about Steven. Goodness, what a loss. Your faith is so clear and obvious. The Lord knows, I believe He actually feels what we feel. He’s that close, that concerned, that loving. He walks with you in this valley, as you said. And yes, you will be okay. More than okay. If there’s anything I can do for you, Laura, please let me know. Blessings…
iIt’s only been a year since Our youngest son, Steven died at age 29. His passing was unexpected, but The Lord has been so gracious and we are beginning to have more good days than bad. I have not had too many times so far that something has triggered the feeling of grief being fresh again. The few times that this happened, it has caught me by surprise. I feel overwhelmed with sadness but console myself with the thought that I know I can get back to a good place again. This last time the sadness diminished in just a few hours. My other consolation is that I know Steven is in perfect peace and loved more deeply and fully by Jesus than Even I his mother ever could. I’m one year closer to seeing him again. I know that these overwhelming feelings will come from time to time, and I hope that each time I will remember this, it’s not been easy, but with Gods help I know I’ll be okay.
Hi Laura. Thanks so much for sharing. I’m so sorry about Steven. Goodness, what a loss. Your faith is so clear and obvious. The Lord knows, I believe He actually feels what we feel. He’s that close, that concerned, that loving. He walks with you in this valley, as you said. And yes, you will be okay. More than okay. If there’s anything I can do for you, Laura, please let me know. Blessings…
Grief is such a lonely cross to bear. No one knows exactly how you feel because they have not suffered the same loss or had the same relationship as you. My husband died 9 yrs ago and I still feel as if I’m merely surviving, not truly living. I will keep praying and going forward but I long for feeling the joy of life again. Thank you for all you do.
Hi Nita. Yes, you’re so right. Well said. Lonely. Each loss is individual and special – it’s lonely by nature. It’s hard to know what truly living is now, isn’t it? I’ll be praying about this for you – to feel the joy of living again. I believe you will. Please feel free to reach out any time.