Loss is hard. IT HURTS.
We lose people, marriages, relationships, jobs, health, homes, financial solvency, and so on. Whatever the loss, we grieve.
Why does grief hurt so much? Check out the video below.
In this 5 minute video, I share 7 reasons why it’s okay, or should be okay, to hurt. If you don’t have 5 minutes, here’s a summary:
- Grief hurts because it is personal. Every person and every relationship is unique.
- Grief hurts because it upends your world. Your life has stopped, while the world seems to go on unaffected.
- Grief hurts because it’s confusing. Emotions hijack you. Questions surface. How did this happen? Why? What now?
- Grief hurts because it changes you. You’re not the same. Life isn’t the same. Your relationships aren’t the same either.
- Grief hurts because others don’t understand. It can be a painful, lonely road.
- Grief hurts because it hits the heart. It can crush and shatter it.
- Grief hurts, because love is real. Because we love, we grieve.
I’m passionate about helping us heal and grow in the midst of loss and great challenges. In order to keep doing that, and do it better, I need your help.
Could you answer one question for me? Yes, just one. A one question survey about your own grief experience.
Your answer will help me produce more books, courses, and resources designed to help us grieve well, heal, recover, and grow.
Click here to get started. I really appreciate it.
Loss hurts. We’re in this together, and we need each other badly.
Michael’s birth was an answered prayer,he was my reason to keep on living. He was my my heart and soul inspiration God let me have him and has taken him back. God spoke to me when I was in ICU with Michael He said ” Did I give Michael to you?” I said, ” yes Lord” .Then He said, “He’s mine”. In this life he kept me going and his death he still keeps me going because I know if I persevere I will see him and be with him again someday. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. I really don’t want to be here anymore. ??
HI Gerry. Thank you for sharing Michael with us. What a personal message you received from the Lord. I’m thankful for your faith. Yes, you will see him again. It’s the waiting that’s hard – so very hard. Please continue to be kind and loving to yourself. And please reach out here any time. Praying for you now…
On Sunday June 8 2014 is the day my daughter passed away. Not only was I her mom but I was her caregiver for 22 years and she was my very best friend. She is no longer suffering and she went very peaceful but I hurt emotionally and at times don’t want to live
Hi Tammy. I’m so sorry about your daughter. I can’t even imagine what that would be like. And you cared for her for so long – thank you for your kind and caregiving heart. No wonder you’re hurting. How could you not? And the hurt is deep – very deep. You are not alone, though at times you may feel like it. We are in this together. Feel free to write anytime. I’m praying for you now…
On Sunday June 8 2014 is the day my daughter passed away. Not only was I her mom but I was her caregiver for 22 years and she was my very best friend. She is no longer suffering and she went very peaceful but I hurt emotionally and at times don’t want to live
Hi Tammy. I’m so sorry about your daughter. I can’t even imagine what that would be like. And you cared for her for so long – thank you for your kind and caregiving heart. No wonder you’re hurting. How could you not? And the hurt is deep – very deep. You are not alone, though at times you may feel like it. We are in this together. Feel free to write anytime. I’m praying for you now…
On Sunday June 8 2014 is the day my daughter passed away. Not only was I her mom but I was her caregiver for 22 years and she was my very best friend. She is no longer suffering and she went very peaceful but I hurt emotionally and at times don’t want to live
Hi Tammy. I’m so sorry about your daughter. I can’t even imagine what that would be like. And you cared for her for so long – thank you for your kind and caregiving heart. No wonder you’re hurting. How could you not? And the hurt is deep – very deep. You are not alone, though at times you may feel like it. We are in this together. Feel free to write anytime. I’m praying for you now…
Gary everything you said brought tears to my eyes again….My grief started May 8 2014 when I lost my husband of 40 years to a tragic accident….We were very active in a motorcycle Ministry had just built our retirement home two years before Doug`s death and he only had two years before retirement!!….So needless to say I felt like my life came to a screeching halt, we did everything together. I have to say what helped me the most is I didn`t crawl in a shell, I kept moving and went to every church function I could and every fellowship function there was to go to stay around friends, even when I didn`t feel like it….God has truly always been a part of my life, and I knew deep down He would get me through…I am letting myself go through the grieving process in a timely matter , day by day….I found myself going around holding my chest, it actually hurt that much!!….I now can say that the heaviness has lifted and I feel I can breath again. Thanking God!!…each day I feel stronger in my spirit and actually feel I can move on with my life, of course it has been in a gentle pattern finding who I am without my Doug …..finding myself in a deeper walk with God and life is good for me right now and I am looking forward to my future…..day by day with me and my Lord…grateful! I feel grateful! God Bless Rita Gee
Hi Rita. Thanks for commenting! I’m so sorry about your husband. You are doing so well, using the grief to help yourself and others heal. And yes, grief does hurt that much. I’m so glad things are less intense and seem to settling in. Yes, the Lord is taking care of you – and He will, all the way. I’m so glad. Blessings to you!
Gary everything you said brought tears to my eyes again….My grief started May 8 2014 when I lost my husband of 40 years to a tragic accident….We were very active in a motorcycle Ministry had just built our retirement home two years before Doug`s death and he only had two years before retirement!!….So needless to say I felt like my life came to a screeching halt, we did everything together. I have to say what helped me the most is I didn`t crawl in a shell, I kept moving and went to every church function I could and every fellowship function there was to go to stay around friends, even when I didn`t feel like it….God has truly always been a part of my life, and I knew deep down He would get me through…I am letting myself go through the grieving process in a timely matter , day by day….I found myself going around holding my chest, it actually hurt that much!!….I now can say that the heaviness has lifted and I feel I can breath again. Thanking God!!…each day I feel stronger in my spirit and actually feel I can move on with my life, of course it has been in a gentle pattern finding who I am without my Doug …..finding myself in a deeper walk with God and life is good for me right now and I am looking forward to my future…..day by day with me and my Lord…grateful! I feel grateful! God Bless Rita Gee
Hi Rita. Thanks for commenting! I’m so sorry about your husband. You are doing so well, using the grief to help yourself and others heal. And yes, grief does hurt that much. I’m so glad things are less intense and seem to settling in. Yes, the Lord is taking care of you – and He will, all the way. I’m so glad. Blessings to you!
Gary everything you said brought tears to my eyes again….My grief started May 8 2014 when I lost my husband of 40 years to a tragic accident….We were very active in a motorcycle Ministry had just built our retirement home two years before Doug`s death and he only had two years before retirement!!….So needless to say I felt like my life came to a screeching halt, we did everything together. I have to say what helped me the most is I didn`t crawl in a shell, I kept moving and went to every church function I could and every fellowship function there was to go to stay around friends, even when I didn`t feel like it….God has truly always been a part of my life, and I knew deep down He would get me through…I am letting myself go through the grieving process in a timely matter , day by day….I found myself going around holding my chest, it actually hurt that much!!….I now can say that the heaviness has lifted and I feel I can breath again. Thanking God!!…each day I feel stronger in my spirit and actually feel I can move on with my life, of course it has been in a gentle pattern finding who I am without my Doug …..finding myself in a deeper walk with God and life is good for me right now and I am looking forward to my future…..day by day with me and my Lord…grateful! I feel grateful! God Bless Rita Gee
Hi Rita. Thanks for commenting! I’m so sorry about your husband. You are doing so well, using the grief to help yourself and others heal. And yes, grief does hurt that much. I’m so glad things are less intense and seem to settling in. Yes, the Lord is taking care of you – and He will, all the way. I’m so glad. Blessings to you!