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[dropcap2 variation=”coffee”]I[/dropcap2]n the summer of 2001, an adoption agency magazine showed up at my house. I opened it to the “Waiting Children” section in the back. As I turned the pages, my eyes fell on a picture of three little girls in Colombia.
A voice inside said, “Meet your daughters.”
This isn’t what we had planned. We were childless and were considering adoption. We thought infant, Asian. We thought some more. Two would be cool, one of each gender, about 2 and 4 years old, preferably Asian.
What were we doing? Ordering off a restaurant menu? Sheez.
Then our social worker asked, “What about Colombia?”
“What about it?” I answered.
“They have lots of sibling groups there. Just consider it.”
I thought, Colombia? No way. Not in my plan.
The next week the magazine I mentioned above arrived, and three months later we were on a plane to Cali to get Diana, Lised, and Maria (who were 10, 9, and 6 respectively).
When Life Turns Upside Down
Imagine this – three young ladies with all their formative years behind them, from a background of heavy-duty abuse, speaking no English, thrown together with two Caucasian 40-somethings. One word comes to mind – drama. It was like a nuclear warhead went off. Five of us, 20 total relationships, all in adjustment phase.
Oh, and I was the Lead Pastor of a multi-staff, thriving church.
No pressure.
People thought I was crazy. Maybe I was. But I do know this – I’ve been blessed in ways I could never have dreamed by those three young ladies, now 23, 22, and 18.
I look back and laugh at all the Spanglish, ridiculous cultural faux pas, wild dances, and improvised games. We loved one another, challenged each other’s comfort zones, and grew together. We also experienced tragedy, unwanted transition, and change. When I began having flashbacks about childhood sexual abuse, my girls experienced that with me – they had their own flashbacks, and we walked the difficult road of healing together.
I could have missed all this. One simple decision could have changed it all.
Rethinking What’s Possible
Most of us want to make an impact on the world around us. In the beginning, dreams are big. Then life hits. We get buffeted by trials and difficulty. We get tired. We lose our edge. We downgrade to what we think is possible.
Boom.
That was the door slamming shut on our potential.
I’m not talking about mere human potential, but about what God placed us on the planet to be and do. That mission isn’t defined by our perceived abilities and skill set. Nor is it defined by past experience, ethnic background, age, or education.
Our mission and purpose is defined by God Himself. The question isn’t, “What can I do?” but “What can He do?”
The answer?
Anything He wants. Anytime He wants. With anyone He wants. Including me. Including you.
Daring to Believe
Here are a few things I learned from adopting my girls:
- Stay open and available. It’s His plan, not yours. It’s not about what you can do, but about what He wants to do through you.
- Listen carefully. Make sure you’re hearing his voice. Tune in. Refuse to be distracted by the noise. He’ll surprise and delight you. But it might be scary, too – meaningful adventures usually are.
- Watch. Look for Him. He’s always at work, usually in the small details and interruptions. If you seek me, you’ll find me, He said.
- Pray! If you make prayer less of an activity and more of the atmosphere in which you do life, your heart will begin to reflect His. His desires will become yours.
You might begin doing nutty stuff like adopting three girls from Colombia. What an adventure!
When life blows our plans to bits, it may be a blessing in disguise. Life is a risky, edge-of-your-seat business. We can’t afford to think small.
Question: What do you do when life messes with your plan?
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I too am a great planner. I have always planned for what’s ahead. I also do not like my plans “interrupted”. I have learned through the year that’s not reality. Our plans, they change. Life consists of change! I have learned that truth, and that MY plans can wash away like the sand on a seashore.
Why do we often think our plans are “perfect”? The only perfect plan is God’s plan, which is His perfect will for each of us.
I too thought I knew what out future would hold, I had planned also, then Alzheimer’s hit our lives. My husband is still living with that horrible illness and yes it takes all your hopes and dreams away.
My mom passed the first of 2015 after a battle with cancer, her struggle with the illness, then her passing brought another big life change. My father who will be 88 this year, needs companionship and help, as he has his own Heath issues and can no longer live alone. He wants to come and live with me?? WOW… a BIG life change for me!!! NOT WHAT I HAD PLANNED, AGAIN. Unless God has another plan, he will soon be moving in with me. This will be a BIG change for me!!!! I did not think that would be in “my” life plans???
This Post grabbed me right off. It was perfect for this journey, and this day. I have so many mixed emotions about the changes I face. I love my dad, and would do anything for him, but I think of my caregiving for my husband and those responsibilties and the rollercoaster ride that illness gives. That is enough I say.. but then God has other plans it seems.
So I pray and give it all over to Him, yet I still seem to be unsettled about this new change in the future. I Need God’s peace and to know His prefect will for me and for my Dad. I am trusting Him to lead me and the family in this next decision that changes not only my life plans, but yes my Dad’s too… and the whole family.
So, like has already been said and said well.. One day at a time!!!!!! I like Shirley’s comment…..
“One day at a time and let God be the planner”. Perfect!
Thanks for the post, it Gary, it was perfect too!!!!
Hi Linda. Goodness. Lots of BIG changes in your life. Sounds like you’re navigating them well – very well! Of course, we have a perfect Father to guide us, and that makes all the difference. Thank you for sharing. It encouraged me to remember again who’s in charge and what this is all about. Blessings to you!
I too am a great planner. I have always planned for what’s ahead. I also do not like my plans “interrupted”. I have learned through the year that’s not reality. Our plans, they change. Life consists of change! I have learned that truth, and that MY plans can wash away like the sand on a seashore.
Why do we often think our plans are “perfect”? The only perfect plan is God’s plan, which is His perfect will for each of us.
I too thought I knew what out future would hold, I had planned also, then Alzheimer’s hit our lives. My husband is still living with that horrible illness and yes it takes all your hopes and dreams away.
My mom passed the first of 2015 after a battle with cancer, her struggle with the illness, then her passing brought another big life change. My father who will be 88 this year, needs companionship and help, as he has his own Heath issues and can no longer live alone. He wants to come and live with me?? WOW… a BIG life change for me!!! NOT WHAT I HAD PLANNED, AGAIN. Unless God has another plan, he will soon be moving in with me. This will be a BIG change for me!!!! I did not think that would be in “my” life plans???
This Post grabbed me right off. It was perfect for this journey, and this day. I have so many mixed emotions about the changes I face. I love my dad, and would do anything for him, but I think of my caregiving for my husband and those responsibilties and the rollercoaster ride that illness gives. That is enough I say.. but then God has other plans it seems.
So I pray and give it all over to Him, yet I still seem to be unsettled about this new change in the future. I Need God’s peace and to know His prefect will for me and for my Dad. I am trusting Him to lead me and the family in this next decision that changes not only my life plans, but yes my Dad’s too… and the whole family.
So, like has already been said and said well.. One day at a time!!!!!! I like Shirley’s comment…..
“One day at a time and let God be the planner”. Perfect!
Thanks for the post, it Gary, it was perfect too!!!!
Hi Linda. Goodness. Lots of BIG changes in your life. Sounds like you’re navigating them well – very well! Of course, we have a perfect Father to guide us, and that makes all the difference. Thank you for sharing. It encouraged me to remember again who’s in charge and what this is all about. Blessings to you!
I, too, was a planner. I could see the future, retirement and doing the things we always wanted to do after raising 5 children. Then it happened, Alzheimers, the disease that takes away so very much from not only the afflicted person, it takes from the entire family. Living life now, after my husbands death a few short months ago, I can not visualize the future. I do things alone that we did together. God and my faith and family have helped me to get where I am now. Our plans for our future are gone. Changes have to take place in my life to keep me going. At this point in my life, I am no longer a planner, just take a day at a time and let God be my planner.
Shirley, thanks so much for your comment. I hope many get a chance to read it, for it is so powerful and true. I sense God will use you more than you realize in the future in helping others who are walking through the valley that you’re now in. Thank you for being a blessing. “Just take a day at a time and let God be my planner.” Wow. That says it all. If we could do that, imagine how much more peace and joy we might experience.
I, too, was a planner. I could see the future, retirement and doing the things we always wanted to do after raising 5 children. Then it happened, Alzheimers, the disease that takes away so very much from not only the afflicted person, it takes from the entire family. Living life now, after my husbands death a few short months ago, I can not visualize the future. I do things alone that we did together. God and my faith and family have helped me to get where I am now. Our plans for our future are gone. Changes have to take place in my life to keep me going. At this point in my life, I am no longer a planner, just take a day at a time and let God be my planner.
Shirley, thanks so much for your comment. I hope many get a chance to read it, for it is so powerful and true. I sense God will use you more than you realize in the future in helping others who are walking through the valley that you’re now in. Thank you for being a blessing. “Just take a day at a time and let God be my planner.” Wow. That says it all. If we could do that, imagine how much more peace and joy we might experience.
Oh my goodness! What a perfect post for someone like me, the perpetual planner. I had my life all planned. When my first life plan didn’t work, being a family of four, I switched plans. I was going to retire from teaching at 47 after being a single mom and raising my children by myself, live in a townhouse, and travel. Then, along came this tall Texan with a deep “radio” voice who was a complete gentleman assuring me chilvary isn’t dead. Less than a year later, I was looking for a teaching job in Texas. We were polar opposites in the planning department. He belived in not planning, “It’s more exciting!” He taught me a lot, and I like to think I rubbed off on him a little. I believe we were the love of a lifetime for each other. After the doctors found his cancer and told us it was likely to returned, I planned again. We did everything the doctors suggested, and sure enough…Frank was in remission, I was going to work until Jan. 2014, then retire and we would be together for however long God allowed. Frank planned also. It wasn’t coming back. He was going to eat healthy, exercise, and do everything he could. That plan didn’t happen either. Now, I’m still working for something to get me out of the house and occupy myself, and I have no plan farther than today.
Hi Lois. I’m a planner too – I guess I should say, “I’m a recovering planner!” Like you, I’m learning. And right now, no plan further than today is good. The days are so emotional, how could you plan any further?
Oh my goodness! What a perfect post for someone like me, the perpetual planner. I had my life all planned. When my first life plan didn’t work, being a family of four, I switched plans. I was going to retire from teaching at 47 after being a single mom and raising my children by myself, live in a townhouse, and travel. Then, along came this tall Texan with a deep “radio” voice who was a complete gentleman assuring me chilvary isn’t dead. Less than a year later, I was looking for a teaching job in Texas. We were polar opposites in the planning department. He belived in not planning, “It’s more exciting!” He taught me a lot, and I like to think I rubbed off on him a little. I believe we were the love of a lifetime for each other. After the doctors found his cancer and told us it was likely to returned, I planned again. We did everything the doctors suggested, and sure enough…Frank was in remission, I was going to work until Jan. 2014, then retire and we would be together for however long God allowed. Frank planned also. It wasn’t coming back. He was going to eat healthy, exercise, and do everything he could. That plan didn’t happen either. Now, I’m still working for something to get me out of the house and occupy myself, and I have no plan farther than today.
Hi Lois. I’m a planner too – I guess I should say, “I’m a recovering planner!” Like you, I’m learning. And right now, no plan further than today is good. The days are so emotional, how could you plan any further?
Gary.
As you know. Cancer is what is messing with my life right now……I went through all emotions….and then I sat down and asked God what am I gonna do?
I have so much to live for at this time of my life…..I waited a long time to be where I am
All of a sudden….it was like…I don’t know….maybe a weight was lifted…..It is out of my hands…
God is in control…..Prayer and Prayer for good friends is what is holding me together on this journey…….Danny is right there to hold me also and he is a gift from God….so that is what I am doing with all this….Giving it to God and leaning on my husband ……
Sharon, wow. Thank you for sharing. Amazing. Exactly what you should be doing – the only things that really make sense. Trust and lean. Lean hard. You’re not alone. Far from it!
Gary.
As you know. Cancer is what is messing with my life right now……I went through all emotions….and then I sat down and asked God what am I gonna do?
I have so much to live for at this time of my life…..I waited a long time to be where I am
All of a sudden….it was like…I don’t know….maybe a weight was lifted…..It is out of my hands…
God is in control…..Prayer and Prayer for good friends is what is holding me together on this journey…….Danny is right there to hold me also and he is a gift from God….so that is what I am doing with all this….Giving it to God and leaning on my husband ……
Sharon, wow. Thank you for sharing. Amazing. Exactly what you should be doing – the only things that really make sense. Trust and lean. Lean hard. You’re not alone. Far from it!