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[dropcap2 variation=”coffee”]A[/dropcap2]nother Valentines’ Day is in the books!

Ah, love.

Regardless of who we are, Valentine’s Day is significant. This love-thing is huge.

We hunger for it. We long to be seen, heard, and understood. We thirst to be looked up to, honored, and respected. We dream of being heroes and heroines together in a love-drama of epic proportions.

This starts at birth. We arrive as little wonders gasping to be held, nurtured, and fed. As our needs are met, substantial deposits are made into our love bank. We grow into people who learn to give as well as receive.

 

We have heart-gaps

Unfortunately, all our needs aren’t met. We’re cared for by fallible humans. Things are missed. Sometimes unimaginable, horrible events occur. Gaps appear in our hearts.

The hunger to be loved remains, and grows.

Not knowing what to do with this, we go on the hunt to meet our own needs. Love-hunger drives us to perform, whether it’s grades, sports, relationships, gangs, alcohol, drugs, eating disorders, or cutting. We graduate into adulthood wounded, unsure of ourselves and others.

Life assaults us. Pressures and responsibilities wear us down. We discover that things, and often people, aren’t what they seem. Deception and posturing are everywhere, even in our own hearts. We get hurt, and cause pain to others. Tragedies occur. Hearts are broken, even crushed.

 

Eventually, we settle

So we downgrade our stories. We abandon ourselves as hero or heroine. This is too messy to be an epic of any kind. We silence the voice of our hearts. We become realistic.

And then we settle, for less – a lot less.

But the nagging hunger to be seen, accepted, and cherished simply won’t go away.

 

The love we long for

The ancient Greeks had four words for “love.” One described physical-sexual attraction. Another expressed familial attachment. Yet another referred to friendship and those we like. The fourth word was, well, different.

The Greeks knew there had to be something greater. They called it agape – the ability to accept another as they are, know their need, and then act for their ultimate good.

Agape was hardly ever used. It was viewed as virtually impossible.

 

Hotwired for love

This impossible love – agape – explodes across the pages of the Greek New Testament with the force of a hurricane. It pops up everywhere. Most often, it describes God’s affection for us. He knows us, understands us, pursues our ultimate best, and has the power to pull it off.

It even says, “God is love (agape).”

No wonder we long for love. We’re hotwired for it.

Human beings can meet some needs, but the deepest ones are reserved for someone greater. We have God-holes that no one but the Creator can fill.

 

Where will our wounds take us?

My wounds can drive me to bitterness, or to agape. My disappointments and terrors can be invitations to depression or to seeking God. Yes, I long to understand, but if I knew the why’s I wouldn’t even glance in God’s direction.

As I try to control things, I end up living a fantasy, missing out on the best of what I’m here for.

I must abandon control if I’m to experience love.

 

You are wanted

Today I remind myself that if God loves me, he wants me. He always has. He always will. He is agape.

He’s more than the go-to guy when we’re in distress. He’s the in-it-with-us guy. He walked here. He endured the temptations we face. He gave his life so we could be with him – so he could be with us.

He is the in-it-with-us-all-the-time-everywhere-God who walks with us in our valleys and on our mountain-tops. He knows our hearts, our wounds, and our needs.

 

God longs for something too

God has a longing too – for us. He hungers for us to experience him – agape.

Where did the dream of being the hero or heroine come from in the first place? Could it be this is a drama of epic proportions and that each of us has a crucial role to play? What if the Larger Story, the Great Drama, is about loving and being loved?

Maybe our childhood hearts weren’t lying. Perhaps wounds, losses, and disappointments are the fire that forges true heroes and heroines. Could it be that mercy, forgiveness, and service are more powerful than we realize?

Agape is real. The love-drama of epic proportions continues today. Lean in. It might not be glamorous or comfortable, but being the hero-heroine never is.

 

QUESTION:  How do you see us trying to meet our own love-hunger needs?
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