[dropcap2 variation=”coffee”]”I[/dropcap2] don’t know where my husband is,” Martha said sadly. “Ophelia and Sophie are gone. My grandchildren – I don’t know what they’re going to do. I’m alone now.”
The truth was that Martha’s husband passed a year ago. They were married over 70 years and she just couldn’t face the loss. Her sister Ophelia died a few weeks prior, making Martha the lone survivor of ten siblings. Her daughter Sophie recently passed of cancer.
The losses were piling up, and Martha was reeling.
I reminded Martha that her other two daughters visited regularly and that her grandchildren weren’t going anywhere, but she wasn’t having any of it.
“No, I’m alone now,” she said.
When painful things happen, it’s like getting punched in the gut – or worse. Another blow strikes, and then another. If the wounds are deep and frequent enough, we can freeze. The magnitude of loss can mess with our sense of reality. Fear takes over. And one of our greatest fears is being alone.
When our world begins to crack, we need people to be with us in our pain. We need safe people who can accept us rather than push us. They’re our bridge back to reality, and when we’re ready we’ll walk across. But right now we’re emotionally devastated and need time to recover.
Physical injuries take time to heal. Wounds of the heart often take even more. Let’s take a deep breath and be patient with others, and ourselves.
Need hope for the holidays? Check out Surviving the Holidays Without You: Navigating Grief During Special Seasons. I know you’ll be glad you did.
