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[dropcap2 variation=”coffee”]”D[/dropcap2]o you feel responsible for your dad’s death?” the counselor asked.
Yes, I did. But I didn’t know it. For twenty years.
I walked out of the counselor’s office and drove across town to a large park. I pulled a lawn chair out of the trunk and sat down next to a pond.
I thought about Dad laying in the Cardiac Care Unit of the hospital. I imagined him in front of me, all the tubes gone. His eyes were open, and he was smiling at me.
I found myself talking.
“I didn’t know what to do when you collapsed. I panicked.”
“I’ve missed you so much.”
“Thanks for working so hard.”
“You’re a great dad.”
“I respect you.”
“I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
“I love you.”
After a while, I grew quiet. It was as if I could hear dad responding, “I love you. I’m so proud of you. I have to go now.”
I found myself once again gazing at the pond in the park. I hung my head wailed.
Something had broken inside me that day. I had let go. By releasing my dad, I released myself to go on living.
What are you still feeling responsible for? Don’t take that burden with you into the holidays. Release it, and yourself. You can continue saying, “I love you,” to your loved one by taking care of yourself.
Letting go takes time. It is part of good grief – grief that heals.
GOOD GRIEF PRINCIPLE: When the time comes, we can release the past and engage in living again.
How can you make wise decisions and make the holidays work for you? Surviving the Holidays without You can help. Make the investment in yourself.
You may be a long way from letting go. That’s okay. You’ll get there. Let me help you. Subscribe to the Good Grief Mini-Course today.
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